Dancing In The Rain

2012-01-04T01:17:00.002+06:00

So, my friend and I had an extra ticket to Sherlock Holmes tomorrow.

And we were thinking.. "Who do we like enough to invite?"

We thought of 3 people. One. Her boyfriend. Who was busy.
Two. A classmate of ours from school. He was busy.

Three. This friend of hers who is by association a friend of mine. He had work.

And that was it.

So much for being social.

Yes, a fail. Heh.

Happy 2012 everyone!

FML

2011-12-10T20:03:00.000+06:00

First I have the most worst asthma I've had in years.

I scare my friends, I miss two weeks of college and I'm behind on EVERYTHING.

Now, I have the viral. INBETWEEN MY EXAMS.

COME ON UNIVERSE!

FML.

O.o

2011-11-24T16:28:00.001+06:00

Air is everywhere, except when you need it.

No. Fucking. Air.

:)

2011-10-05T22:51:00.001+06:00

Have you ever met someone you've met several times before?

And suddenly you see something you haven't noticed before?

The way their eyes twinkle?

Or that shy smile?

Sometimes these little things make me oh, so happy :)

Do you feel the same way?

Just to get it out there.

2011-07-18T20:03:00.003+06:00

So I was in Pulicat for 15 days.

For those of you clearly living blissful lives, having not heard of Pulicat, let me kill it for you.

Pulicat is a fishing village in the outskirts of Madras.

Okay, y'know what? As I was writing about the horrors of the place, I decided, meh, I've ranted enough, maybe I won't poison your vision with my spiteful words.

Now, however, I'm not sure what to blog about.

Ah okay, maybe general stuff.

I have made several, hopefully, life altering decisions.

This summer induced a lot of thinking.

With the last Harry Potter movie and the feeling that my childhood ending and the boy and all.

I have these circles of importance okay?

The first one includes Family and Qoco.

The second consists of 5 of my closest friends.

And so on.

And while I was making this priority list I realized.. College work isn't all that important to me. Yet I practically kill myself and any relationship I have, because of it.

WHY?

Because I'm a dumbfuck who cannot prioritize.

I'm going to make sure things are different from now on.

Things that matter to me, people who matter to me will resume their number one position, while I let the horror that is college slowly slip away into nothingness.

Sounds like a sound plan to me.

*nods*

On a more serious note.

Have you ever lost touch with someone who was at one point of time important to you?

Have you stopped talking to someone just because you were so lazy to pick up the phone?

And most of all.. have you blamed yourself for letting it happen when it clearly IS a two sided

affair?

I had a friend. And we lost touch. I hadn't heard of/from or anything 'bout her in 4 years. Until the 13th of July, when I got a call telling me she passed away.

Shit happens, people move on and friends grow apart.

Wherever you are, I'm so sorry this happened to you.

I hope you're in a better place and I truly hope you find peace.

= ' )

Obsessive Cat Lady, Volume 1.

2011-06-25T10:19:00.002+06:00

As most of you may already know, this is Qoco.

My baby :)

And this is what she does, for 4-5 hours everyday.

Her other activities include playing, sleeping, eating and being cuddled.

For the record, she's looking at/hearing the pigeons outside my window.

This one is when the pigeon sits behind my AC.

And this is her, almost 4 hours later. Still watching.

Have I mentioned I'm obsessed with my cat?

Well, you should've figured.

Looking forward to the weekend!

2011-06-24T10:52:00.003+06:00

So I did something horrible today = /

I drank my chocolate milk without brushing my teeth.

No, not all of it, but I took a few sips.

I was stumbling and reading random blog posts and KABOOM, it was placed beside my laptop.

It sat there, looking so delicious and cold and sweet and filled with chocolate.

And I took a sip before I could stop myself.

*hangs head in shame*

No, I am not psychotic.

I just recently realized that people actually read this blog, which has made me terribly happy, and also urged me to post more.

So here you go, my two scents for the day.

Chocolate milk.

And for the record, yes the title is Rebecca Black inspired, and no, actually I am not looking forward to this weekend.

Why?

BECAUSE COLLEGE STARTS ON MONDAY!! *sob*

Yesterday, All troubles seemed to close to bay.

2011-06-09T20:38:00.003+06:00

I refuse to delete things.

Like my previous post.

What an emo post. Seriously.

I sound like I'm going to slit my wrists.

But no, I will not delete it.

Just like my profile pictures on Facebook, no matter how old and shameful, I'll keep 'em, 'cause they remind me of a phase. And what I was at that phase.

Just like yesterdays post, one day, maybe a few months from now, I'll read it and wonder "WTF", and remind myself, never to feel that way again.

Just like the past in general.

I think it's good to ponder 'bout it.

I think it helps in a way.

Maybe not have OCD about like *cough* me.

It's good to learn.

It's good to grow.

But never be ashamed of who you were and what you did, 'cause that probably led to the awesomeness that you are now :)

Thats a good thing, yo!

In other news, hello blog world. It's been ages (yesterday notwithstanding) since I posted here!

How goes it?

Thats my two scents for the day.

Love, Peace and Self Actualization. :)

Broken.

2011-06-08T19:42:00.002+06:00

Maybe something is terribly wrong with me.

Maybe I'm not normal?

I'm not particularly beautiful or wonderful or overly smart or even different.

I'm just me.

And maybe that isn't good enough.

Maybe I'm just broken in some way.

Maybe others see something in me that they don't want to deal with?

What if I'm the problem?

NOWWHAT?

= /

2011-05-09T22:50:00.000+06:00

You know what?

I give up on trying to understand boys.

Done.

No more.

They confuse the living day lights out of me.

And for the life of me, I can't understand what they're doing.

Which confuses my feelings towards them

Such a vicious circle of confusion. UGH.

Home :)

2011-04-23T23:03:00.007+06:00

You know what?

No matter how much I complain and groan and complain some more.

Chennai is awesome.

It's such a comforting and familiar place.

And I love it, no matter which part of the world I am and how nice the weather is in other places, Chennai is still the best city in the world, y'know why?

'Cause it's HOME. :)

This is an AMAZING picture a friend of mine Keshav, took, he's a brilliant photographer and NO ONE has made Chennai look more gorgeous. Nice job Chugh. :)

I want.

2011-02-03T23:48:00.002+06:00

At the risk of sounding like Hannah Montana

I want to be wooed.

I want someone who'll call me in the middle of the night just because he's eating something I might like.

I want someone who posts random junk on my facebook wall.

I want someone who wants me.

I want someone to dance with me on the beach, on my birthday.

I want someone who I can talk too.

I want someone who isn't too bothered about calling or texting every second of everyday.

I want someone who'll randomly show up at home just to watch a stupid movie.

I want someone who watch idiotic youtube videos with me.

I want someone to indulge my love for Harry Potter and my obsession with it.

I want someone who'll indulge all my obsessions, actually, be it for MAC make up, shoes, clothes, fictional people, books, whatever.

But more than anything, i just want someone to rely on when things get hard, to scream at, to cry too and most importantly.

I just want someone to love me.

= )

James Potter has ruined my life.

Perfect life.

2011-01-30T13:03:00.002+06:00

My blog seems to have died.

I always have things to say, being opinionated as I am, but I don't want to blog about it anymore, seeing as it always turns into a whiney rant about the world being unfair to me.

So, I'm going to talk about my CAT.

This gorgeous creature's called Qoco. - As you might've already known.

And this is her "huh? what are you doing?" expression.

I wish I were a cat sometimes, y'know?

No, wait, not just any cat, I wish I was Qoco.

My activities would include:

Morning : Playing catch with grandma. She throws paper ball ( note: she has several fancy err, balls, but chooses paper) I would go get it and sit there. Waiting for grandma to come pick it up.

Then, i would spend time with teenager of the house (Read: ME) watching her get dressed and dump large quantities of cloth into an oversized bag. Then I would jump into said bag and watch till she picks me out, plays with me.. rubs my belly and kisses me till I make her stop. Ah, the love.

After teenager leaves to college : SLEEP.

Wake up.

Watch tv while being petted.

Eat.

Lick Self.

Poop.

Sleep some more.

Wake up.

Watch humans interact while petting me.

Eat

POOP.

Lick Self.

Wait for teenager to come back.

One she's back, I'd be kissed, hugged and played with obsessively.

Sit on teenagers homework while she pleads with you to get off.

Watch her do her work.

Lick self.

Sleep.

Wake up, EAT.

GO back to sleep.

Wake up teenager at 6 with constant meowing.

PLAY.

And life goes on.

Yeah, I wanna' be Qoco.

Pink Grass would be purdy.

2010-11-17T01:11:00.002+06:00

I think I've made my stand on Harry Potter pretty clear, here.

I love it, I love everything about it, and even though it breaks my heart everytime a movie kills the magic of the book, it's still Harry Potter, and I'm frankly speaking a sucker for it.

What am I doing up so late, you ask?

I'm waiting to book tickets for Deathly Hallows, I've twice on the first day, and I want to keep that tradition going. Helps me with perspective and detail.

I'm not the staying up kind, unless I have company, but this is a special occasion, y'know?

The booking's been post poned to 1, so blogging seems to be my only passtime as I've already done my round of food and fashion blogs.

And stumble, 'course.

Oh, I might get another tattoo.

Or pierce my tongue.

Everyone's fine with the second tattoo, but they want me to wait, with the piercing, my mother said she'll disown me and my friends said they wouldn't acknowledge me anymore.

Ah, what we do for the ones we love. = P

Anyway, Let me know what you think?

And keep your fingers crossed, MUST GET TICKETS.

Cheers!

To a friendly foe.

2010-09-30T19:47:00.004+06:00

Sometimes being a teenage girl is hard.

I'm talking emotionally.

Y'know, girls, we've got to agree, we're bitchy by nature.

Friend or foe, we bitch.

And what's worse? We bitch about sometime after being cupcakes to them.

Y'know sugary sweet and nice, but the second I turn away, roll your eyes and bitch?

And being a teenager, when you and your friends lack maturity, life just turns into this huge bitching fest.

Which, pretty much, SUCKS.

I'm just ranting, but yeah.

See, I never did very well until I reached the 11Th grade in school, y'know?

The only thing I ever had going for me, was the fact that I knew what I always wanted to do, that I had figured out.

Now, I'm doing what I've worked towards all my life. I decided when I was 8, that I was going to become a designer.

And today, now that I'm in NIFT, now that I'm in Design school, it makes sense that I am competitive, doesn't it?

I'm fiercely competitive and I will work as hard as I can to be at the top, probably not THE top, but somewhere there. I will give it my all.

If that irritates people, well then, please, I'm not begging for your friendship.

I'm here, because I've always wanted to be here.

I'm doing well, because I work hard.

And I will do whatever it takes to do well at something I've wanted to do all my life.

I'm competitive, obsessive and compulsive.

I don't give up easily.

I argue till I get tired.

I get clingy. I'm needy.

I'm moody.

I come like this, negatives and quirks intact.

If you can't handle me, I suggest you don't try.

Qoco!

2010-07-16T11:46:00.002+06:00

Guess whose got a kitten? = D

It's back, and err, away again!

2010-06-18T15:47:00.004+06:00

This is why my parents don't let me have a pet.
I'm not responsible enough.
I start something and forget all about it. I'm careless that way, but they can't compare maintaining a blog to a cat, now, can they?
I have changed.

Imagine the shock when you read something you wrote 3 years ago and find yourself appalled at your vanity, stupidity and slightly disturbing hyper-err-ness.
That put a stop to writing as a creative outlet, for as long as it would take for me to get over it.
Instead, I turned 18, decided to submerge myself in my college work.
I had a teacher who did not like me and refused to give me marks.
So, my vow.

I must do well despite everything, I must top at the very least, my class.
But, I told myself and everybody that I gave up. That passing would do.
Anyone who really knows me would laugh and tie me to a a bed post (not in the kinky way).

Amazingly, I did top my class with an 8.42 GPA. And I'm rather proud of myself.

As confusing as this blog might be to you.
By not writing here, I think I channeled my err, creativity towards my work. Which, worked.
So, I do now what I'm doing. Even though I only figure it out once I'm done with it.

That means, I can handle a cat.

Anyone want to call my mother?

Gooder, I SAY!

2010-04-24T20:18:00.004+06:00

I think I've forgotten how to write.
No, really.
My English has gone to the dogs. Lets face it. I said "gooder" today.
Yes, shocking!
And once upon a time a time in a land far far away, there was.. different story.
As I was saying, I actually considered majoring in English, but if any of my English teachers would hear me now, they'd probably tie me to a fan.

There is no more flow of thought.. or this urgency to express myself. All I want to express now is frustration and hatred, all involving profanities often have words that begin with a f and end with a g or a k. = /
Yeeaah.
And I had a no swearing policy till I was 17.
Whatever happened to that girl?
She didn't swear, she didn't curse, she was nice and helpful to one and all.
She got more than 2 hours sleep a day.

Now she's annoyed, frustrated, two faced and mean.
Oh well, she grew up.

This is what the world does to you my friends, it turns you into a 5"3 barely sane fashion student who says "gooder".

Joyful.

So I say, watch Date Night at PVR, using those 10 rupee ticket ( I never know those existed!)
Do not stay at the Auroville having booked online.
And when you go to a place like pondy, carry loads of cash.

Peace, Love and Redo's.

= )

2010-03-28T12:03:00.002+06:00

" In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so."
- Anton Ego, Ratatouille.

I wish I could print this out and paste it all over the walls of my college, sometimes.
I know they're teachers and its their job to make us thick skinned individuals whose work meets various demands and expectations. To make us professionals.
But the other side of it.
We're 18, we put everything we have, every idea that strikes us, every bit of creativity and every bit of effort we can muster up, into something we do.
At least most of the time.

Our work can be torn apart verbally. I have no issues with that. We need to be able to handle harsh words, but physically breaking, tearing and stepping on someones hard work, seems cruel and almost barbaric.
If this is what teaching has come down too, I doubt I want to keep learning.

An idea is original, it s unique to its master alone, and no one has the authority to judge it. But they do, according to personal likes and dislikes, this is the way of the world, I know. And this is how it will work. But for professionals to judge an idea by its creator and rubbish it due to their personal dislike for them or their friends or their attitude seems most unprofessional to me.

You might say I'm a child whose soon going to realize that this is the way the world works and if I want to make something of myself, I must learn to live and deal with this. And I agree. I must.

But for now, I'm an 18 year old, who wants to voice an opinion. And after a very long time (blame it on the workload) I'm doing just that. = )

And let me tell you, it feels very good to be back. = )

RIP.

2010-02-12T09:29:00.002+06:00

Alexander McQueen.

Probably the most creative and imaginative designer I know, whose inspired thousands of people like me, because of whom, we're trying to make our way in this industry, hoping to be a 10Th of how brilliant, influential and creative he was, is DEAD.

He was found dead in his home, just a few days away from London Fashion Week, where is very much awaited Spring line was to be showcased.
But, He DIED.

He's Dead.

The world was such a lucky place to have a man amongst us whose imagination knew no bounds.

He was an inspiration, a genius and a true DESIGNER.

McQueen maybe dead, but he'll live on. Through is creativity and designs, something no one can forget.

I hope you're finally with your mum and Isabella.
I hope you're finally happy, wherever you are.

Rest In Peace.

EEEE!

2010-01-15T13:59:00.002+06:00

I got 8.16 in my Semester Exams!

8.16/10!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I love everyone and everything!

P.S. Happy New Year, Happy Pongal, Happy Tamil New Years Day and Happy Eclipse everyone! = D

Hello to you again!

2009-12-21T13:02:00.003+06:00

It's December! = )

Its the last month of the year.. the decorations are up, every place is twinkling and the weathers just lovely. = )

Now, all *I* need to do is stop sleeping so much and go out of the house. = P

Anywaayyy, my juries went as well as I could have hoped. I don't know if I did good or bad, but I know I did work my butt off and hopefully, it paid off. = )
Now that I have a month off from college, I actually miss it.
Not the work load, 'course, but I miss my friends, who're back home. = (
I miss the campus, most of all the immense sense of creativity that just oozes from every corner. And I miss all the colours.

Ah, I'll be back before I know it, I guess.
And then the complaining will begin once more. HEH.

I went to Tiruchi and from there I went to see the Tanjavur Temple.
Its 1000 years old next year. And it just pains me how much we "ooh" and "aah" the pyramids and other supposed man made wonders, but no one seems to care about so many beautiful temples we have in every part of the country.
IMAGINE. 1000 years old, still standing and looking fab.
If you're ever in that area, go visit it, its worth it.

*sighs*

Now that I've blogged, I think I shall sleep. = )

See ya!

Because they do!

2009-11-01T19:46:00.003+06:00

Mouth: Take a look at yourself in a mirror who do you see looking back?
Haley: Is it the person you want to be?
Dan: Or is there someone else you were meant to be the person you were meant to be but fell short of?
Mia: Is someone telling you you can’t or won’t? Because you can.
Chase: Believe that love is out there.
Nathan: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton: Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
Julian: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Brooke: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton: So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be. Believe that.
Lucas: And believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

That's from One Tree Hill, and I'm just putting it up here, so I can keep reminding myself.
Everytime I complain and rant and cry.
Everytime I'm so swamped with work I can barely breathe, and everytime I have a bad day. I'm going to read this and remind myself that its all true.

Dreams do come true, we all know that, we just lose sight of it.

I'm living mine, and I know it.
But a reminder every now and then wouldn't hurt, will it? = )

Let's have some fun, this life is sick.

2009-10-31T13:51:00.004+06:00

Sometimes, despite all the shit you're going through, at work, at home, at school or even at college. One night, could change it all.
One night can make everything better.

In my case, it was one night of friends, crazyletitalloutdancing and the occasional vodka shot.

We have a bad day, we rant.
We go out, we go wild, we have fun, we love, we let go.

We feel all better.

Sometimes, always being the responsible good girl just sucks.
Sometimes its nice to just let all your reservations go and have some no-consequences-no-responsibilities FUN.

It's my LIFE. I live it for NOW.

It Ends Tonight.

2009-10-24T18:20:00.002+06:00

I hate when a book series ends.
You get so attached to the people in it, you relate to them, share their pain, laugh with them, it's almost like you give a part of your life into a book, and when it ends, it brings tears to my eyes.
Those of you who love to read would probably share these sentiments.
Somehow when a series ends, it brings tears to my eyes, even when its happy and everything is fine, it haunts me.
"The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well."
Even now, thinking about it, haunts me.
And this particular book, hasn't released in India, so I got my aunt to get it for me when she went to Singapore and then got it from Delhi to Chennai, via mail.
And I hate that it's over so quickly.
The last book, as much as I wanted to finish it, I didn't, and its the same feeling I get everytime I get to the last book of a series. UGH.

I hate when books ends, especially ones that are funny and series and romantic and smart all at the same time.
I miss the characters, its like I can associate them to people I know in real life, it makes these books come alive, it wakes you up, and it makes you dream, more than you ever thought you would, because you never know, a fairy might just come outta' nowhere and take me to Idris. = )

But then they end. Which just sucks. Out loud.

Fortunately life.. it goes on. = )

Think GOA.

2009-10-08T11:28:00.004+06:00

Imagine working so hard for something, have someone copy it and then they do better than you.
Imgaine going to talk to your teacher and wailing like a child in front of them..
Imagine losing your geometry file and having to redo everything in two hours for submission.
Imagine being called irresponsible, when all you want to do is cry some more.
Imagine getting redo's after you slog it out and finish doing the work before the submission deadline.
Imagine your teacher writing shit about you in your papers, that'll go to your end term jury.
Imagine crying so much you can't see.
Imagine screwing up your mid term exam because you couldn't concentrate and were so upset.

Imagine having your so called friend not care shit about you.
Imagine always helping someone who wouldn't bother helping you.
Imagine feeling like you're being used and taken for granted.

Imagine going home, falling asleep and forgetting to inform your friend you don't have college in the morning and won't be dropping her.

Imagine all of this happening in one day.

Yesterday.

The worst of all my bad days.

The only positive thing I can think off?

GOA. I'm going to goa.
Keep thinking about that Shrutilaya. You'll make it.
Won't I?

Doo da da dum.

2009-09-29T16:53:00.001+06:00

My exams start tomorrow. MID TERMS.

I have two common board exam papers and a zillion books to study from.
It's been so long, I don't think I remember how.

Happy Days. :)

How're y'all, btw?

= \

2009-09-16T12:25:00.005+06:00

Okay, I'm not quitting. I am NOT.

I'm just a little frustrated, ookay?
I knew NIFT was going to be harrdd work, but not THIS hard. I was mentally prepared for work, but not so much work.
It's been about 2 months since classes started? And I haven't had a single weekend off. I mean, they load us with so much work, that going out for 2 hours makes me feel bad.
And I'm not the kind of person who falls behind, I like to stay on top off things, but I need a break too, y'know?
I work every damn day, and I'm not getting used to it as fast as I hoped. = (
I mean, METALS DUDE.
Why do I need to work with metals, really?
It's bad enough that I'm allergic to them and break out in rashes every time I touch them, but, I need to cut and mould and whatnot to make an object. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HELP ME?
I know, if I quit this, I can go work as skilled labour. UGH.
Yesterday, it took me 4 hours to work on one side of a tree trunk. You have to drill those hole things along the pencil lines and then using a hammer and a sharp instrument thing, break it, then file it and smooth en it. HALF A FREKKIN TREE TRUNK people. And its about 6 inches. And guess what? I'm probably one of the few whose started, others are still waiting for APPROVAL of sketches. I have this feeling something bad is going to happen. = /

Okay, moving on, I took last weekend off, as in, I just did a couple of things. I went with my friend to see him through his tattoo, I went out for lunch, blaah blaah.
But THAT decision is now haunting me. I have so much work, its not funny.
I actually took today off, so I could catch up with my work, OH, AND. Umm. I'M COVERED IN ITCHY PINK RASHES THANKS TO YESTERDAY!
And my right had is swollen thanks to the HAMMER!
Oh, did I mention I get back home at 9? or 8?
I mean, I chose Chennai so I could be with my family and friends, but I don't get to see much of either of them.

Avee and I seem to think the same.
Goodbye, thanks for listening.

= /

2009-09-14T20:49:00.001+06:00

UGH, life is a fucking pain.

Make it stop, make college.

I NEED A HOLIDAY.

:)

2009-09-05T13:25:00.001+06:00

So I got a Tattoo.

On my left hand wrist :)

Badam Milk and Maggi.

2009-08-25T17:42:00.004+06:00

So I'm in NIFT.
I haven't really told y'all much about it, so, here goes.
My day goes like this.
6:45 - Wake up.
8:05 - Leave home.
9:00 - 5:30 - CLASS.
6:60 - 7:00 - Reach home.
8:00 onwards - Work, projects, whatever.

THIS is why I don't blog, not that I'm making excuses, but still.
I miss being online, I miss being vetti. (vela for those who don't know tamil)
Tamil, is it weird that I'm speaking more tamil now, in a college which is like 75% northie crowd? Oh, I speak hindi too. = /
I've met a whole bunch of people, from various parts of the country, which if you ask me, is probably the best part. The talent is amazing.
Sometimes it makes me feel like an insignificant speck, but I GOT FASHION DESIGN, and I have a language advantage, HAH.
Okay, excuse the childishness.

The workload is mad. I'm killing myself already, and it's not even been a proper month.
They have so many expectations of us, it's crazy. And also challenging.
But at the same time, frustrating, y'know? I mean, just tell me allign those stupid lines vertically and I'll do it, stop expecting me to do it anyway! I'M LAZY!
And, what is with the lines, anyhow? And the geometry? The computer application? AND THE VISUAL STUDIES? We don't do anything but still get so much work, damnit!

And the SENIORS! Wear salwar, wear normal clothes, don't talk to us we'll get caught, how dare you not wish us! I mean, MAKE UP YOUR MINDS! C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.E.
With eachother.
SOme of the seniors are such sweethearts, I love them. The others are so mean, they make me want to cry.
College is just a mixture of emotions, if you ask me.
The distance, the new place, the new people, the faculty, the classes, everything!
It's exciting, furstrating, annyoing, happy, painful and confusing all at the same time!
EVER felt like this?

But you wanna' know the really good part?
I love my batchmates, dude. And I love my friends in NIFT to pieces. <3
And even though the work load is heavy and stuff is crazy, it still takes sometime to wrap your head around the fact that we're going to be graded on drawing and neatness and making stuff.
And our only theory paper consists of designers and their styles, etc. I mean, duuudddeeeee!

NIFT, I'm loving eeet!

P.S. Can someone get me Krushers from KFC? ThankYou.

To Shrija, on her 16th Birthday.

2009-08-14T17:04:00.002+06:00

I know I haven't been around much.
But you know I'll always love you.
And I'll always CARE for you.

You're 16, the age of mixed feelings.
And when all that shit happens, I'm here.
When all the amazing things happen, I'm still here.

I love you, Shripree.
Happy Birthday.

P.S. I'm sorry, college is killing.

College.

2009-07-30T20:21:00.002+06:00

So.. close.. *coughs*
12 hours.. *sneeze*.. a ..day.. college... tired.

I don't.. wannt.. foooodd.
Lectuuresss.. *sniffs*.. *sneezes*.. SENIORS.. runs... workshop..
... need.. rest.. new people...
Sleeepppy.

Sleep... sleep.

Pillow. AHHHHHH. <3

Changling

2009-07-23T12:50:00.002+06:00

I hope life changes.
No, don't get me wrong, I love my life at the moment. But I want change.

I mean, I'm starting this whole new phase of my life. COLLEGE.
The same college I've been wanting to go to ALL my life. I mean, COLLEGE, dude.
It's a big deal.
But it don't feel like its a big deal yet.
I'm still all, eh, yeah, its starting.
I want to feel the change, I want to be the change, okay no, not be, but see and feel the changes around me.
Thats why I went and chopped off my hair and poked a hole through my nose.
I still don't feel any different.
I've got used to the hair and the nose. NOW WHAT?
I wanted a new beginning, y'know? But at the same time, I didn't want to go into this all alone!
But I'm lucky, I know a few people, and I'm close to one of them. So, I think thats working out.
But a couple of my old school classmates might end up there. But, I'm not the same person they used to know, I guess. STILL.
So much for a completely new beginning.

I just need to be myself right? And take things as they come, right?
I'll be fine. Yeah, UGH.

Help me, will you guys?
I'm excited freaked.
I want college to start, I want to start this new phase of my life.
But at the same time, I'm so safe and so comfortable where I am. Maybe a little too comfortable.
Yes, change is needed.

HELP. ME.

MommyAndMe.

2009-07-20T19:22:00.007+06:00

My mum is elegant. She loves black, and sticks to classic lines and proportions.
I'm clumsy. I pull off colours like neon pink and crazy amounts of layering.

She wears delicate looking jewellery.
I throw around wooden beads and bangles wherever possible.

She always looks like shes stepped out from a movie or a conference room.
I always look like I've been smoking pot with the gypsies and groupies.

She's fair skinned with short cropped hair.
I'm dark, with long wavey hair and a million piercings.

She walks in high heels like she was born in them.
I trip wearing flats.

She's always calm and composed.
I'm over emotional with a nasty temper.

She was a science student.
I'm an arts student.

When she paints, she uses bold strokes and loves to finish things fast.
I go into every tiny detail.

She's confident and authoritative.
I'm shy and quiet at first.

But y'know, we make it work.
We're so different in almost everyway, but we're both equally good in whatever we do. = )
I just felt like saying this.
I love you mommiiee = )

No Title.

2009-07-17T11:44:00.002+06:00

Okay, so I watched Half Blood Prince twice yesterday.
And I know what I said about it was kinda' harsh, so, I'm deleting that post. I can't read when people say bad things about it and I know some people would feel the same way. SO for the sake of frans like myself, I'm deleting it.
I still standby my opinion that it was just an average film which spent more time on romance than what mattered. And yes, it did hurt the book, a little.

But, I am and always will remain a Potter Maniac.

Anyway, in light of some recent events, I'd just like to shout out to Avee, Ki and Lala.
Thanks for being there, y'guys.
I just love you so much, I could sit on you. = )

YOU.

2009-07-12T11:06:00.005+06:00

Do people not UNDERSTAND things anymore?
Do they not read? Or comprehend?
Why do they try so hard to say the right things or be perfect in every ones eyes?
I'm sick of it all.
I'm sick of you calling your friends for support, and they address things without even understanding them.
I'm sick of watching you use people.
I'm sick of you seeking popularity.
And most of all, I am just so sick, so sick and tired of YOU.

You are so bloody immature.
I've tried not to let it bother me, I've tried to let it go.
But you just won't learn.
So, I'm done being your friend.
I'm done being nice to you.
And most of all, I'm DONE acknowledging you.

Run along and try to be prefect.
Goodbye.

How does that bother you?

2009-07-07T13:08:00.001+06:00

I grew up with awesome parents.
They're cool with boyfriends, they're cool with parties, and they're cool with guys coming home and me spending time with them.
They don't judge my friends, they don't care if so and so has slept with 6 guys or 7 guys. All they care about is that she's a good friend.
And, I'm just wondering, if my parents are this amazing, coming from such a different time and age, why are people these days so horrid?

I don't care if my friend cheated on her boyfried, or slept with a gazillion guys. She's still my friend, and from my side, it's no judgements.
I have certain sentiments and morals. She might not have the same, who the fuck am I to tell her what shes doing is wrong? Or tell the world for that matter?
I am her friend. And I love her. No matter what.

That brings me to another point.
Sex. Yes, something that people say our generation is taking too lightly these days.
I have two words for such people.. SO WHAT?
Yes, people do just sleep around now, or do it because they don't want to be the last virgin standing or all their friends are doing it, so okay.
I know a lot of mental maturity is required, and yes, its a huge step.
But, so what? If X wants to get drunk and get laid, who am I to stop him or her?
Just because I want my first time to be with someone I love, why should I judge him or her, or condemn or even say that he or she has no values? WHO THE FUCK AM I?

I grew up wanting certain things a certain way, he or she did not.
It's their life, its what they want. They should just do it. (pun unintended)

I wanted to pierce my nose because I thought it would look nice on me, while my friend told me that it was slutty and I would be giving out certain vibes, y'know what? Screw you. I'll do what I want and I am not going to like it if people judge me based on what THEY think of what I do.

Its an opinion, sure. But sometimes people just misuse the "opinion".

And I doubt you'd like it if someone calls you names or says that what you're doing is wrong because THEY think it is. As long as you're happy, people should shut their traps and focus on their own lives.

..Yes, this post is very personal, it has something to do with a couple of my friends and the recents events that occured.

And for those of you who say.. "they'll regret it when they grow up".
They don't, most don't. And even if they do..
I'm asking you, HOW DOES THAT BOTHER YOU?

Finally.

2009-06-29T17:32:00.002+06:00

So, I've been wanting to this on and off for four years now, but never actually got the permission.

Anyway, My mum finally said yes so I went and got my nose pierced = D

Take a look. = )
I'm very happy. = D

CHENNAAII! <3

2009-06-23T10:48:00.003+06:00

I woke up on Sunday morning at 6 a.m, thinking I was going to be late. I had a dream that night about being a bird in the winter.
I got up, got ready and woke my parents by about 7:30. We thought we were supposed to be there by 8:30 which turned out to be 9:30. So, in those two hours, I managed to cry and have several panic attacks. Something about living in Delhi just didn't seem right to me. 'Course I didn't tell anyone. But I just didn't see my slightly hippie or gypsy self fitting into the atmosphere there. Somehow, I love Delhi, and my family there (bloggers included), but it's a very tense city, I feel.
Anyway.
We left at about 9:10 and Avee was still fast asleep, she wished me luck and zonked off, again. Haha.
I was in a green top and brown skirt with pink accessories.
NIFT was less than two minutes away from Asiad, which was good.
The first thing I noticed on entering was that NIFT, did not look like a Design school. NIFT in Chennai screams creativity with its angles and colours and very bold strokes. Delhi's NIFT looked like your typical depressing government building. It was dusty and smelled like poop. No, I am not joking.
The minute I took in the atmosphere as opposed to Chennai where the creative vibes hit you in the face, my face fell. This was not what I was expecting. It looked like.. IIT. = \
So, we went to the hall (candidate + 3). The chairs were dirty and it reminded me of my old school. No, not in a good way.
I turned to my mother and said.. "I want Chennai, I do NOT see myself here".
My uncle heard me and thought I was on the verge of yet another panic attack and all three of them began trying to calm me down. Nothing I said convinced them of how serious I was. Then, I remembered my dream and told my mum about it. I just said.. "And what do birds do in the winter? They fly south. I AM TAKING CHENNAI". They laughed, but mum believed me, I feel.

We had this presentation and when they put up the number of seats left, Delhi said.. "0". Destiny, don't you think? But, it is weird, because, a friend of mine who was rank 41 didn't get a seat. Hmm.

ANYWAY. I saw that, I was happy, I made friends with a few girls who chose Mumbai and Calcutta. When my rank and name (which was killed) were called, I got my documents verified and explained to a very amused lady that some Chennai schools write board papers on 200. I chose Chennai, paid my fees and here I am. Back home. For the next four years.
My mom was so happy she wasn't "losing her baby" that she almost cried.
I'm still hyper excited and it turns out a lot of my friends who were supposed to leave are staying back too. So, it all turns out for the best.

NIFT, Chennai, here I come.
P.S. I didn't settle for Chennai, I chose it. And I think THAT made all the difference in the world, to me. = )

Thank y'all for the support and the prayers, I would be lost without you.

= \

2009-06-17T11:00:00.005+06:00

So, I am freaking out. BIG TIME.

My counselings on Sunday, I'm meeting Ki on Friday!
I might get Delhi, I might not.
I will get Chennai, but I don't know if I want to stay here.
I am freaking out.

There's going to be a board, showing you the number of seats left in a course and centre.
It is going to kill me.
I have paced up and down. I have grumbled, I have freaked out all over the place, shouted, cried and now, well, blogged.
I'm still not calm.

I was reading Mystique's blogspot.
And, I've been doing pretty much the same, only over the period for a few weeks. I've gone to my friends and ranted, yelled at my parents, fought with them, blaah, blaah, blaah,

All this for a college I've already been accepted in. GOODNESS.
I am an emotional joke.
ANYWAY, I'm leaving to Delhi tomorrow, YAY.

So, before I pass out from worrying, I shall go now.
Wish me luck, and hope I get Delhi, Fashion Design. = )

Thank you guys, for being there.
*Inhales*
*exhales*

Okay, I'm good. Bye.

P.S. Why did I make my link "genuis on the loose"? Oh yeah, I was 15 and silly.

RETARD

2009-06-15T10:57:00.003+06:00

I am.. sick.
I'm twisted.
I'm pathetic.

I'm cruel, mean and selfish.
I am a little hyper.

Sometimes bitchy.
Highly insecure.

I write long emails and never get replies.
I pour my heart out to someone who ends up mocking me.

I can't blush.

I still get excited when someone who hurt me gets hurt.
But feel like a creep later.

I have stalkerish tendencies.

I hyperventilate like there is no tomorrow.

And I'm attached at the hip to people I care about.

Yes, you're right. I need therapy.

Read. Listen. Enjoy Brilliance.

2009-06-11T17:02:00.002+06:00

Listen to this boy.

He's brilliant. = )

And, he's my best friend. Double bonus. = ))

GO HERE.

Please come back.

2009-06-09T12:51:00.006+06:00

I could tell you anything without being judged.
I could make fun of you, and you had a laugh at me too.
In sorrow, joy and happiness, we were together.
Sometimes even pain, but it meant nothing when we were with eachother.
We wouldn't talk for months.
But, with one conversation, all of it would be erased.
I depend on you, and you depend on me too.
But now, everything seems so.. different.
I haven't seen you in a month, I miss talking to you.
I miss seeing your funny face.
Your love, your obsessions. As much as they drove me crazy, your playboyish tendencies, got me frustrated.
Your need to watch that same thing over and over again.
Frustration, irritation and the need to kick your behind.
You're annoying, you piss me off.
You say things that get me all confused.
Your words make my head swim.
Your actions, I can never predict,
You calling me a guy, I'm sick off. But it's still cool.

Yet, with this love- hate relationship we share,
We've always been best friends.
UGH, it frustrates me that I miss you so much!
Arggh, I hate feeling like this.
I want you back in my life, on a permanent basis!
I don't care what it takes, I just..

NEED YOU.

And, I miss you.
Don't stay there, come back.
I want my best friend back!
Please, please come back.

Dark and PROUD.

2009-06-04T17:39:00.008+06:00

"How come your mom's so pretty and fair and you're so dark and ugly?"
"Shruti, they have fairness creams for a reason, for people like you"
"Ugh, how can you stand being so dark?"
"You know, you could be considered pretty, if you did something about that horrid skin colour"
"I know that you were madrasi the second I saw you. All of you are so black".
"Ugh, don't sit next to me, your colour will stick"

And they never stop.
Yes, I'm dark.
No, I do not want to use a fairness cream.
No, I still think I'm pretty decent looking.
YES, I like my skin colour.
And I can wear whatever colour I want. I will wear black, dark blue, brown and all the dark colours. I don't care if YOU think they don't suit me.

Just today, I was asked what would look nice with white pants and a blue jacket. I said white, would look normal. So, a green, yellow or even pink T shirt.
The guy laughed and said "Tell her she should do fashion designing, she'll really make it big".
Then, I found this. Michelle Obama is considered one of the leading Fashion Icons today, she's the second First Lady to grace the covers of Vogue. She, in that picture is wearing white trousers, green and yellow layers and a dark blue jacket.
An added bonus, she's dark. So THERE.

I feel pretty, I feel nice. I like looking at myself in the mirror.
And so should every other dark boy or girl.
Wear black, dark brown, hot pink, whatever you want. Don't listen to people whose imaginations can't get past what's been DONE.
Think ahead, break rules.
We're probably the only ones who will.

I have no problem with being dark.
And I think that every person in this country who thinks being dark sucks, you suck. Why can't you be happy with what you are? Why this obsession of being WHITE?
I, for one am proud of my skin tone.

And no one can change my mind.

You there, spending most of your money of fairness creams, people like you should really take time to get your priorities right.

I, Me and Her

2009-05-30T19:59:00.003+06:00

Me : I've got to tell her!
Soliloquy : No, Shruti, you can't! She likes him, they're making plans for the future! She'll hate you forever!
Me : But I have a really bad feeling 'bout this person. Something feels off! I'm her friend, she values my opinions, doesn't she? She won't mind. RIGHT?
Soliloquy : But at the moment, he's her life. She's not going to be very pleased if you ruin her life.
Me : BUT, somethings gotta' give! So not her. So not worth her. I'm not feeling good about this! I'll tell her!
Soliloquy : No, no. Do you want her in your life forever? Or however friendships last?
Me : IF we're friends, she won't grudge me for this, right? Her parents will freak! Long time plans! I don't all of this to blow up in her face!
Soliloquy : Love, or whatever it is doesn't make you see sense, you know that from experience, don't you. Let it. People need to learn. It's how they grow.
Me : But, I don't want her to get hurt!
Soliloquy : GROWTH. You can be there for her, if and when it does.
For now, let it go.

SHOULD I?

To The Dude Upstairs.

2009-05-24T11:05:00.002+06:00

Dear God,

It's been a while since we had one of these chats, eh? Okay, well, I do most of the talking and you do the listening, but it's not a monologue, is it now?
So, the last time I spoke to you was during my board exams. For which I thank you with every fiber of my being. I also have to thank you for NIFT, and Symbiosis. And maybe La Salle too. Really, thank you. I love you, dude. I really do.

BUT (You were waiting for this weren't ya'?) as any human being; who constantly has needs and wants. You know, wants are unlimited and all, like I learnt in Economics, I still want to ask you not exactly for, but about something.
So, Let me get to the point. How long am I going to wait till some sucker takes notice of me and actually thinks I'm worth a shot? (please forgive the language)
I mean, it's been forever, for crying out loud!
Every DECENT boy is either, taken, full of crap, scared by me or isn't interested. I mean, that DOES tamper with a girls self esteem, y'know. Especially if the girl is ME - y'know? Very FRAGILE self esteem.
And, if anyone else is going to say things like "All in good time" or something along those lines, I. Will. Throw. My. Smelly. Gym. Socks. At. Them.
I vow to do so.
And NO, I will not kiss a frog like my mother asked me too.

ANYWAY, back to the point.
Just let me know I'm not going to die as an old cranky and lonely lady that kids pretend is one of McBeth's witches. Which is probably what people think of me now, 'cept the "old" part.
I'm cranky.
I'm difficult.
I'm incredible needy.
I'm stubborn.
I'm obsessive.
I'm insecure.
I get that, but if they can't appreciate me at my worst, why in heaven's name should they see me at my very best?
Okay, anyway, this is just a little rant. I'm desperately hanging on to every thread of hope I get, and, I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
So, please send along a nice, sweet lad for me, will ya?

Thank you so much for listening, dude.
(is the dude part an overkill? Nah, it isn't. You're right).

Much love and in need of therapy,
Your very own,
Shrutilaya the soon to be Designer. (EEEP!)

P.S. NIFT Delhi, I need to get DELHI.
Thanks again!

EEEEP!

2009-05-23T10:34:00.002+06:00

So, I got into NIFT. = D

And, my All India Rank is 118. = )

Dreams DO come true. This one here is TEN years old. I'm 17.
I've been wanting this since I was 7. And I got it.
..Now, people keep your fingers crossed and hope I can get NIFT DELHI.
DREAMS SO TOTALLY COME TRUE!

So, YAY.

P.S. Now, if only I could make Adam Lambert like girls, only for me. *sigh*

The Unfortunate Three.

2009-05-22T12:21:00.002+06:00

My friend and I had this huge discussion the other day.
We realized something funny.

All the good looking, nice and sweet guys are -
1) Married/Taken.
2) Gay
3) Heartbroken.

Don't agree?
Just take the American Idol Top 3, for example.
1) Kris Allen
2) Adam Lambert
3) Danny Gokey.

Married. Gay. Taken.

Doesn't that prove out point? Yeah, it does.

We rest our case. = )

I will support Adam Lambert till death do us apart!
ADAM LAMBERT <3

L.E.T.T.E.R.S.

2009-05-20T14:17:00.004+06:00

Do lyrics ever speak to you?
Do they save you?
When you're hurt and feel like life just isn't worth it?
When all you want to do is forget, listening to a song, or read a book, about a similar situation, doesn't that help you? Give you perspective whenever no one else seems to be able to make you see light?

Can one song change your life?
Can one text change your life?

I believe it can.

"Make a wish and place it in your heart.
Anything you want.
Everything you want.

Do you have it?
Good.
Now believe it can come true.

You never know where the next miracle is going to come from, the next smile, the next wish come true.
But if you believe that it's right around the corner and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it,
To the certainty of it,
You just might get the thing your wishing for.

The world is full of magic.
You just have to believe in it.

So make your wish.
Do you have it?
Good.

Now believe in it...with all your heart."

- One Tree Hill.

Alber Camus once wrote, 'Blessed are the hearts that can bend, they shall never be broken.' But i wonder... if there's no breaking, then there's no healing. And if there's no healing, then there's no learning. And if there's no learning, then there's no struggle. But the struggle is a part of life. So, must all hearts be broken?

- Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill.

You have NO idea how much that helps me. EVERYTIME I read it.
It helps me believe my dreams. I believe. I hope. I pray. I wish.
I know my dreams will come true.

Struggle, pain, hate, love and happiness are a part of life.
It keeps it interesting.

All I'm saying is.. Words can make you or break you.
I hope all of you choose to make someone rather than break them.

Uncomfortably Numb

2009-05-17T15:22:00.005+06:00

Now, this is fashion.

When I walk down the street. I shudder. Laugh out loud. Sometimes point and even take pictures.
Local girls and boys. They can make an aspiring fashion designer want to stick two very sharp objects into each of her eyes in order to prevent herself from the sight of those clothes.
Acid washed jeans, Tight shirts and T-shirts with fake names, frills everywhere. Shiny polka dots. Shrugs that look very much like scarps of clothing attached together. Flare. Bling. LIPSTICK. Powdered faces that make them look grey. It's too much to take in, I tell you.
Why do you want to dress like this if you aren't comfortable in what you're wearing?
Why do you want to make a mockery of yourself?
It hurts my eyes.

We point, we stare. We take pictures and humiliate them, and they don't even know it. Sometimes, I feel like I'm a total bitch for doing that, but when you decide to go out looking like that, you should probably expect that!

When I went for my NIFT situation test. There were a few girls in particular, who stood out amongst the millions lot of shorts, tee's, jeans and kurties.

Glare ladies daughter - Flared green acid wash jeans. Black top. With puff sleeves with gold polka dots. Ruffles from the waist to hip, in the same black and gold dotted material. Black very old fake leather high heels. Dark brown lipstick and bindi.
Many of the NIFT seniors who were there were smirking openly, and her mother yelled at everyone. She was finally told to "eff off". = \

ATIT-dude girl - Her top with attached shrug with many holes said that. I am not kidding.

Dress girl - Situation test. She wears a strapless red dress with matching shoes and a hair band. Oh, did I mention the shrug that went along with it, in the same material with lace edging? Oh, and lace leggings. And tiny polka dots.

These were the top three.
Yes, they stood out and that's what fashion is all about. being different, expressing yourself. but, this. is. not. how. you. dress. to. an. EXAM.

I'm just trying not to think about how they'd dress to college, on a daily basis.
Unfortunately. IF you are really good with clothes and material and dressing and fashion and hope to do well in that industry, I think your clothes need to reflect it.

Moreover, those who dress so horribly in the streets, try not following trends. Try being comfortable in what you're wearing, rather than just doing something because your classmate or favorite actress is, it'll help.

And it'll give my friends and I some peace of mind.
Not to mention sanity.

Thank you for reading this.

TATA.

='(

2009-05-13T13:48:00.000+06:00

You people have forgotten about the rain dancer.

*cries*

Time after time.

2009-05-11T14:52:00.004+06:00

First her, now her.

HER TOO?
You've got to be kidding me!
You can't tell me that I'm at the bottom of that list!

..well, if I am. IT BETTER BE ONE SHORT LIST!

It's *MY* turn.

FINALLY - Guest Post - Deluded.

2009-05-03T16:17:00.001+06:00

You ask for my number, but all you want is my dignity, isnt it you bass-turd!

welcome class, to your annual philosophy lecture.

I have a question.

suppose, that youre eating. just hanging out with your friends, one fine saturday night.

and, then while looking up from your bowl of talumein soup, you see an uncle, staring.

*staring.

*staring.

*stare.

how many of you girls have had this happen with you?

*all the girls of the class raise hands

and how many boys?

*a single lone hand comes up slowly.

yes, deluded. share with us, your experience.

umm. sir. Im not too comfortable speaking about it.......

hey, hey dont forget the deal we had, about the bournvilles *whispers

well, sir. the thing was. that me and my roommate, and another friend were eating. and when I looked up, there was this old man staring. at first I thought that that he was staring at the cute girl sitting next to me.

but but but it turned out, that he was staring at me.
AT ME!
AT MEEEEEEEE!

I smiled. he smiled back.
I stared to make him uncomfortable. he was more successful in that area.
*everyone shudders

hmm. and what did you do then beta?

I, I. I....I ate and then I got out of the restaurant.

and then...?

he, he tried to FOLLOW ME.

and what did you do?

I showed him the finger.
umm....I, then, I used my superior athleticism to run away.

*sobs and sits down

*everybody claps.

Swim or Drown.

2009-05-01T18:01:00.004+06:00

When you're standing on the edge you don't look down, until you're ready and willing to fly.

Bon Jovi says it RIGHT.

Unfortunately for most of us, life doesn't care if we're ready, it just pushes us off the cliff and expects us to fly. Some learn the beauty of flying and the joy it brings, while others, learn about the long and scary path life takes you through while falling into the darkness below.

When I was 6, my grandmother pushed me into the deep end of the pool because I was too scared to go in by myself.
I began moving frantically, to prevent myself from - what I thought at that time - drowning. Anyway, that eventually helped me learn to swim.

Now, see.. all I'm saying is, I'm 17.
And whether I'm ready or not, life's going to make me jump, flying or swimming is upto me, and only me. I get that. Most people need that push to make something of themselves or they'll fall into what we call a monotonous life.

Why don't most people consider floating? Don't need to swim, or drown, just.. float and stare at those beautiful stars?
After all, only those who float will have time to THINK.
The others? They'll either be too busy trying to get ahead, or stop themselves from well, dying.
Why does everything we do have to be forced?
Why can't we sometimes take the less traveled path?
Why is it so difficult for us to just wait, wait until something inside us tells us we're ready?

When you're ready, and trained and well, sure of yourself and what you hope you'll make of future, then, only then will you be able to find the balance between swimming and floating. Right?

Why does everything have to be a certain way. Why is it college immediately after school? Or a job after you've finished studying.
Why marriage just when you're stable?

Why not do something YOUR own way.
Leave your own footprint. Show the world that taking a risk CAN pay off.
I'm sure it will, 'cause if not anything else, you'll be appreciated for the courage you had in TAKING that risk.

So, I ask you again..
Is it so bad to do something different RATHER than doing the same things differently?

What now?

2009-04-19T18:47:00.003+06:00

The only people who made life seem worth it are well, gone.
The only people left, will be left behind, soon enough.
In life, there's friends, family and love. Three things worth living for.
I have friends, well, some.
I have a family.
So I have things to live for.

Then there's college.
If that doesn't happen, what next?

When you have things to live for, but nothing to make it worth it..
What next?

What happens if you have reasons to live, but no will too?

What then?

Disclaimer: No, I am not suicidal, I've just been watching too much One Tree Hill.

The food of MY love. = )

2009-04-09T14:26:00.004+06:00

So, there's this band called Jack's Mannequin. They're a rock-pop band. And they're brilliant.
See, most people around my age seem to think that only Metal's cool. And those who truly love music always have this bias against certain types of music. I, on the other hand, think that if you truly ARE a music lover, you need to appreciate all kinds of music. I love all music, even the noisy head banging metal that makes my head hurt. That's cool too, y'know?
There ARE other amazing bands, like Coldplay, The Fray, 3 Doors Down, Lifehouse and the like.. but, you want to know what's so special about this band?
Andrew McMahon. (See picture)

This guy, was diagnosed with LEUKEMIA! He fought it, and continued to sing.
He's a legend. The man is a genius.

"On May 27, 2005 (three months before the release of Jack's Mannequin's debut album Everything in Transit), McMahon was forced to cancel all of his upcoming concerts.[3] After a medical examination in connection with a relentless case of laryngitis, McMahon was admitted to a hospital in New York City, where he was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia on June 1, 2005.[4] Since the illness was diagnosed in its early stages, McMahon's doctors had high hopes for a full recovery. In the wake of this, many fans started projects to raise money for leukemia awareness. Most notably, the music website AbsolutePunk.net had orange wristbands specially made, reading "I Will Fight" (a line from a song only available on the British version of Something Corporate's North, "Watch The Sky", which McMahon claims to be his favorite song he ever wrote). They sold close to 6,000 bands, raising over $20,000 which was donated to the Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation"
^ Wikipedia.

I've always loved this band, and after I read this story about a year ago, I not only love, but respect this band, and it's lead singer.

So, I've taken it upon myself to make sure more people find out about this band, and the amazing story behind the lead singer.
So, tell a friend.
Listen to them.
You'll end up loving them like I do.

Oh, and while you do, make sure to listen to Something Corporate too!
Watch the sky, in particular

Do this for me.
Yours hoping-you'll-do-this.
Shrutilaya the Jack's Mannequin Addict = D

P.S. I'm leaving for Dubai tomorrow, I'll see you guys in five days.
TA! Miss mmee!

Dear People-Who-Do-Not-Comment.

2009-04-02T13:19:00.003+06:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Or done anything even remotely productive, actually. I've been reading. Watching Tv and movies that I've missed all through out the past year due to vaguely important exams, also known as my 12th Boards. Which, I might inform you, are over. And it feels good.
I shall start working on my portfolio and the like, later on.
As of now. I don't give a damn.
I have taken it upon myself to read and reread classic novels. Some of them are boring, depressing and sadly reserved.
It just makes you wonder, was "whimsical" and "impulsive" not part of any of these writers vocabs?
I love classics, mind you. But I'm slightly sick of the reserve.
I know the lived in different times, but.. it just seems so unnatural. Doesn't it?
I watched Jane Austen Book Club today morning, and it's funny, isn't it? Ironic even. We seem to be able to relate with people who lived 200 years before us.
Despite their reserve and their very formal attitude towards love or the opposite sex, we relate to them.
I don't really know the point of this blog. But since I've been doing nothing but reading, shopping on occasion and sitting at home making conversation with my mother, I almost feel like a "Miss Shrutilaya".
All I need now is the dress.
But, in Chennai, I'll probably burn to death. No, I'm not a vampire, daylight does not BURN me, but it's just exceptionally warm. Ugh.

Anyway, my point being, I'm glad I have this time.
It feels well deserved after a year of hard work and constant studying.

For all you little people writing exams soon, all the best and HA! *Sticks tongue out*

Sorry, could not avoid that.

Lovingly,
Miss Shrutilaya Ramanathan
Chennai

P.S. I've been wanting to do something drastic, y'know? To mark my freedom, any suggestions? Other than a tattoo, that I will get soon!
So, suggestions, please.
ThankYou.

Free!!

2009-03-24T17:21:00.003+06:00

Just one more, she thought to herself..
"two minutes left, make sure your papers are arranged in order and tied properly", the invigilator exclaimed.
She looked up, he looked as bored as ever.. but her heart was hammering, her hands shaking. I can do this, just one more, she thought to herself.
As she finished writing the last word, he began collecting the papers.
She looked around at her friends.. the grin on their faces.

They ran out of the classroom.. screaming..

We're FREEEEEEEEEE!

Now, I don't think you get it yet!
I'm free! Like, FREEEE. Like, no more school rules. No more TWO plats, no more uniform, no more "you're allowed only one earing", no more pinning up bangs, no more horrid smelly school shoes and socks!
I can wear nail polish! I can wear all my earings!
I can wear my rings!
I don't have to avoid Laila ma'am anymore!
I don't have to tie my hair ever again!

I'm DONE. School's over!
As much as I'm going to miss it, I'm excited! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!! = D
I'm alumni now! HA!

I'm done. = )

Livin' On A Prayer

2009-03-15T21:27:00.005+06:00

Dear God,

How be you? I'm not so good right now.
I know I'm not overly religious, but I do believe, so that counts, right? I don't thank you and all, but for the first 15 years of my life, I said the "Our Father" everyday, and meant it most of the time. *sheepish grin*
Anyway, I was hoping.

PLEASE MAKE THESE EXAMS GO AWAY SOON.
French was.. blaaah, after all the hard work, even an 80% seems, well, difficult.
English and Geography were good, but.. that's it.
Business maths is done Tuesday, whereas I'm only doing my SECOND main subject. Why is that, by the way?
Is this my punishment for bein' bad at math and running away from it?
It IS kinda' your fault y'know?
I got all the wrong genes.
Why couldn't I have the logic and the art? It's as bad as giving me my dad's arms and mom's legs.
But, you gave me brains, decent brains.. but you also made me illogically true to myself. That sucks, y'know?
Anyway, coming back to exams.
Why do I get the urge to write my book, or.. read Jane Eyre ONLY during my exams. Why do I get all these bright ideas, draw so much, want to cook so much, ONLY DURING MY EXAMS?
Are you going to turn me into a slothful leech after? Please don't?
So, I'm requesting that, just for another week, till the 23rd, keep a check on me. Make sure I study, properly. And please.. I need to get into a decent college.
HELP. ME.

Yours-truly-in-need-of-help.
Shrutilaya the Desperado.

P.S. Mom thinks I'll get 94%, please make sure she realizes how deluded she is.
ThankYou.

Guest Post - Shatabdi

2009-03-06T21:17:00.000+06:00

It had been shaky since days now. It would momentarily pain every-time she bit into something hard. She even tried to feel it with her index finger one morning. Ewww gross.

Chinky was 8 now, one grown up girl. Three kids in her colony called her didi! She had lost the first of the pair two months back when her brother had punched her hard on her mouth; Most painful experience ever. He was naughty and he was evil. Yes, it was only by mistake but it bled for hours after the incident. Like her mom said, ‘there were neater ways of doing it.’ Days late it was replaced with a brand new shiny one. But she had not forgiven her brother yet.

She was fearless. She had even begun to sleep on her own in the tiny room near the balcony. One visit to the dentist meant nothing.

Or so she thought.

Now as she sat on the dental chair, with the huge round glowing bulb on her face, it seemed very different. This man was actually going to strategically remove it. Or, was he going to knock it out too? He looked fairly similar to the punching brother. He was going to turn and place the fist on the face. Or was he?

“Such a pretty pink frock chinky,” The doctor quipped noticing her anxiety. “Who bought it for you?” “Mumma”, Chinky feebly replied. “Okay, very nice.” The doctor gave a kind smile. He then asked pointing towards his mouth with a little frown, “Does it pain?” “Hmm” she didn’t know what else to say. “Bad one. So we shall stop the pain, come on, let me have a look.”

She closed her eyes and opened her mouth as wide as she could. “You have a very brave girl as a daughter Mr. Mehra.” ….

And then it was done.

Two hours later, she was walking down the street that led to her house. The left hand clutching her father’s finger and in her right, a cone of vanilla ice-cream.

Guest Post - Jinxed Pixie

2009-03-06T20:43:00.000+06:00

Dedicated to Ki and Shrutilaya

My first guest post!!!!

(Ki, you introduced me to Haiku, and now here is a post on limericks, which is another form of poetry. I know mine sucks but you’ll just have to bear with me, no??)

Limerick is a form of poetry that consists of five lines, and is usually humorous (though mine is anything but humorous)…The last words of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd lines rhyme, while the last words of the 3rd and 4th line rhyme with each other.

1. A fairy in the heaven above
On seeing a one-winged dove
Exclaimed in fright
“Aye, it ain’t a pretty sight”
And ate it up with clove.

2. Once decided a homesick gnome
Someday, I just might go home
And packed all his junk
In his rusted trunk
And exclaimed “ I might as well not go”

3. An extremely self-possessed young lady Ki,
Said you and me make we,
But the boyfriend argued
That he was misconstrued
And that Ki and him actually made three

;) ;) ;)

Ki, I hope you got the idea… ;)

4. A lass Shrutlilaya who had a blog
And had to, for her boards, slog
Decided while nibbling a toast
That she must get people to write a guest post
And pretended to be suffering from a writers block

;) ;) ;)

My imagination is blocked due to french.

2009-02-27T20:21:00.004+06:00

Heathcliff : I pray one prayer, I repeat it till my tongue stiffens. Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you, haunt me, then!... Be with me always, take any form, drive me mad, only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!... I cannot live without my life. I cannot live without my soul.

Cathy : It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him; and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire.

I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is, or should be an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of creation if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning; my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the Universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees — my love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath — a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff — he's always, always in my mind — not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself — but as my own being — so, don't talk of our separation again — it is impracticable.

Yes, that's love, it is. No matter how twisted they were, what they had for eachother is something special. Something, so tragically beautiful, that it sold this book. = )
Read Wuthering Heights, 'cause if all fails and fades away, love won't. = )

Your very own romantic
Shrutilaya

P.S. I won't be blogging for a while, boards start Monday, continue to send me your guest posts, I'll put them up when I can. = )
See you! Wish me luck!

Guest Post - DramaQueen.

2009-02-22T14:32:00.001+06:00

The Girl With The Piercings

she took a deep breath and walked took that first step into her new classroom,
"not bad,a nice big room not tiny storeroom,yay!"she thought to herself.
"wow!That's a lot of new people!" she thought to herself
being two weeks late for school was not the biggest advantage.but the fact that she'd get to make new friends made it all the more exciting.
That's when she started to talking to this really really cool girl,she had coloured hair too just like her,and kajillion ear piercings."wow!" she thought to herself.
she introduced herself,and girl was introduced herself right back.
the nine of us were then moved to the storeroom! brilliant,what luck!.This girl started hyper-ventilating,really badly! " i cant breathe!" she said.
yeah we all weren't too thrilled with the present situation either.
but this girls was panicking,and hyper-ventilating,i was scared she'd pass out or something.That's when she told us that she was CLAUSTROPHOBIC,and allergic to dust,and her wheezing was acting up.
She looked really sick after awhile,and then she went home.
She came back after two days,she sat on one side of me and we began to talk.
we shared one thing in common we both found Indian history impossible to listen to it and found that doodling was a better way to utilize time.
so it was this small classroom that created the most beautiful friendship anyone could imagine.This girl was SO ORIGINAL,SO talented,AND WHAT STYLE!
she was a drama queen but who isnt?:D
She became more than just a friend to me,she became my family,she became my support when everything was crashing,she became my un-biased advice giver.
she still is.This talented amazing designer who managed to create the most gorgeous gown i've seen with a blouse,a petticoat and a skirt!
This girl,who although i dont hang out with outside school has remained one of my closest confidants.
I LOVE YOU TOOTSIE MOOTSIE WOOTSIE
my sister for life <3 <3

Guest Post - Dishi

2009-02-20T15:50:00.004+06:00

Shall We Say Goodbye?

TTTTRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!!

The alarm rang, and she woke up. She was barely sleeping, and she didn’t get a chance to get any sleep last night.
Her dad came into the room and said “ Wake up sweetie”…not knowing that she was already awake, he continued “ It’s your last day of school” , he kept her uniform on the bed and left.
***
She was in the midst of a feeling which was a cross between nostalgia, sadness, and excitement. She tried to remember her first day at school, real hard, but all in vain. All she could gather were faint images.
She got ready real quick. Her hair smelled of the lavender, from her conditioner She still couldn’t understand why she was changing schools. She thought over the thought as she slipped her legs into her white school skirt for one last time.
Before she knew it , she was being dropped off at the front gate of her school.
***
“ Aatiyyaa!” Her best friend screamed, as she saw her at the end of the corridor. She held her, and hugged her tight. Soon, all of her friends were around her, and were hugging her as if there was no tomorrow. She got about five “ good bye” cards, and some three bouquets.
There he stood, her boyfriend, the guy she’d been with for the past three years. He didn’t want to see her today, because he was upset that she was leaving. She walked up to him, and their eyes did the talking. She kissed him on the cheek, and walked away. This was it, they were no more “ Aatiya and Arjun” They were 2 different souls now.
***

Through out the morning, she thought about her friends, her (ex) boyfriend. None of them would keep in touch, she knew. Would she be able to start over and make new friends? Everyone in her school knew her , was she ready for a new beginning? A completely new environment?
***
Soon enough, the recess bell rang. All her friends and her, went to the canteen. She was giving them a treat. Everyone grabbed whatever they wanted, and thanked her. She bit into a chocolate bar. She felt something strange and cold running down her cheek. It was a tear. She was sad. And seeing the tears in her eyes, her friends started crying too. A hugging session all over again =). Arjun came up to her and gave her a tight hug and whispered “ It’ll be alright , you’ll be alright,. I’ll miss you” in her ears, and kissed her forehead while pulling away. She quietly said ,” I’ll miss you too”
***
The day got over, and it was time to leave. Time to leave the institution she’d invested eleven years of her life in. She’d miss it of course, she’d miss her friends. She’d miss the little things, like the inside jokes, free periods, the assembly, the canteen, the amazing food, the leg pulling. Heck, she’d miss all of it. The good and the bad.

Was this really the end…?
***
“ The only thing constant in life in change”

^ That, made me sound like a grand mother.

I love you more than you could imagine, Shruti. I do 

Dishi
<3

Guest Blogger - Ki! = )

2009-02-19T15:06:00.002+06:00

The Kiss Of Death

I was at the Metro Station when I saw them. What a beautiful pair they made. She was thin, almost waiflike, with long black hair. He was tall and broad shouldered and it must be said, he had a fabulous ass. :P

They were making their way up the escalator, his arm around her slender waist. As they came out into the sunlight, she leaned into him, eyes sparkling, strands of hair falling on her face. He kissed her gently at first but as the kiss deepened, they seemed to almost become one entity.

Others stared rudely, nudging each other and going 'tch tch' but the oblivious couple just wouldn't stop sucking face. :P

And then it happened. His body jerked. I thought, from my vantage point in the queue for the counter that he was, well, in the throes of passion for his beloved. But it happened again. He jerked back again, pulling her with him. "Wow, hormones on over drive, eh?", I murmered under my breath, smirking. I turned away to purchase my token.

"Arre! Sambhalo!"
"Dekh ke beta!"
Loud shouts and gasps arose from behind me. I turned around, expecting to see some shocked aunties. Or maybe a scandalized police waala. After all, the couple had been, um, going at it rather enthusiastically....

...only to see two crumpled bodies lying in a pool of blood, surrounded by people from all sides...

..and his shoelace. Stuck in the escalator.

100th! + Thank you's! + Guest Posts!

2009-02-16T18:12:00.010+06:00

So, it's here. Finally. My 100th post.
I'm honestly saying this, but it feels like I started my blog only yesterday!
Wow, but my first ever post was on the 29th of April, 2007. It was a Sunday. I was 15 when I started blogging, and I'm 17 now.
I've come a long way now, haven't I? Before only two people bothered to read and comment on my blog, but now.. well, WOW.
Thank you guys, really. = )
You have no idea how much you guys mean to me. You give me the confidence that my blog isn't a pile of wasteful rants no one cares about.
So, I'm going to have guest posts on my blog.
It's just sorta' a celebration for my 100th post.
So, all of you, any of you. If you wanna' write a guest post on my blog, please do. = )
You can email your posts at shrutilaya2006@hotmail.com. And please, PLEASE do write!

Anyway, I'm going to be thanking a few people, very much like an Oscar Speech, so put up with me, please. = )

Blogsource - You shut down my Life Of A Teenage Gypsy blog, and though hated you for it, because I was blogging there since I was 12.. but, if it wasn't for you, I never would have joined blogger, and met all these amazing people.

Avee - I know you aren't around so much now, and I miss you. Thank you. From my first post, to my last post, you were and will be there. I know that. No matter what's going on with you, know that I'll always love you.

Ki - When you started reading my blog, I had so much hope, that people do care about what I had to say, and you brought along with you, a WHOLE set of people who give me the same hope. Thank you. = ) You truly ARE my sister. = )

Dishi - I've been reading your blog from the first ever post, I don't think I've ever told you this. I love you, little one. Thanks for everything and everything to come! = D

Shrija - My partner in everything! You've always been there, I absolutely adore you and I thank my lucky stars for letting me meet you! You're amazing, you are.

Ayushi, Jinxed Pixie - Pixie, I just realized you were one of the few people who commented on my third or fourth ever post. WOW. I never knew that!
Ayushi - <3

Sumaya - For your constant support, for letting me whine when I want too, for all those fun times and more to come, Thank you. = )

Karan and Akshey - Thanks. = D

Sawan, Deluded, Ryn, Karthik.. and all you guys who've even visited - Thanks for reading and commenting!

So, I think that's everybody. = ) Mum and dad, 'course, 'cause they always let me blog, even during exams.
This blog has seen the best and worst of me and I'm so happy!
And again, THANK YOU GUYS!

Anyway, the guest posts people, cough up! = D
Cheers and lots of love.

Your very own,
Shrutilaya the-newly-turned-17-year-old!

99th! = )

2009-02-12T15:47:00.003+06:00

This strange thing we call "LOVE".
So, Valentines day is coming up. Ah, the day where couples hold hands, walk around the place rubbing it in everyone's faces and waste away huge amounts of money, all in the name of "love". While the rest of us single folk scowl and hope to god they break up.. or, go into major depression.
This will be my 17Th Valentines day. And, this will be the 17Th time that I'm single. Oh well. *Dramatic sigh*
This used to bother me, I always wondered what was wrong with me. Why the sight of me had most guys running for cover, I spent so much time in front of a mirror, wondering what it is about me? But somehow, I just don't care now.
I've had my share of heart breaks, longings.. crushes, you name it. But after it all, and after being in "love" once. I think I'd rather NOT have it. Thank you.
I don't think anything that takes up so much of you, who you are, your trust, your very being and a part of your soul, it takes so much energy.. but it's going to end anyway, so, do you really think it's worth all the trouble in the first place?
I think not.
I'm honestly sick of seeing so many beautiful couples together and just ending it. How can you honestly say you love someone if the love stops? How can you move on.. just like that?
Some people are really cut out for it. Some aren't. I'm NOT.
My Mum and Dad, Edward and Bella, Alice and Jasper, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, Jane and Mr. Rochester, Romeo and Juliet. Heck, even Heathcliff and Cathy!
Now that, right there, is love.
Nothing can/will ever change that. And that is what love should be.
How can you compare your lust or attraction to that?
Maybe it's just me? Maybe I've just seen so much of this crap that I'm cynical. Yes, cynical and seventeen. That's what I am.
I know that everything has an end. And I know there are people out there who truly DO love each other but can't make it work. But, everyone doing the same? That's just, wrong.
I, for one know that I'm not willing to take another chance with this "love" thing. I'd rather be single, alone and cranky all my life.
Really.

This was just a rant.
But, to those couples who are happy and "in love", I hope it lasts.
Truly, I do.

P.S. This is my 99Th post. And WOW, do I sound like my grandma' or what?

25 Random Things.

2009-02-05T13:22:00.002+06:00

The rules are pretty simple, just state 25 random things about yourself and tag 25 people.
So, I'm not tagging 25, 'cause well, I don't think I'll find 25 people who read my blog.
Anyway, I'm tagging Ki, Dishi, Avee, Jinxed Pixie, Karthik, Deluded, Ayushi, Sumu and anyone who wants to do this thing.
So, here it goes.

I like the rain. It makes me feel happy, it makes me smile.
I like snow, even though I haven't really seen snow, even pictures of snow makes me happy.
I spend hours on facebook, just looking at pictures. I'm sixteen, I'm in the 12th, I'm jobless and I love it.
My new phone is called Sophia. She's purdy. :D
My new camera is called Troy.
My camera isn't the first thing I names troy, but the old Troy was misplaced. I've always loved the name, mainly because of Brad Pitt, but, yes :D
I'm hopelessly in love with Edward Cullen and Mr. Darcy. You know what they say? you always want what you can't have. Well, I can't have either, 'cause they aren't REAL.
My dad had a dream that I marry a guy named David, who I meet in London. Well, WHEN AM I GOING TO LONDON?!
I have an economics exam tomorrow. I was once called an economics geek, 'cause I always got full marks. The last time I got full marks, I was still talking to the person who called me that.
I always end up blogging the most during exams. = P
When I get up, I sneeze about ten times. Then, it becomes alright.
I always sneeze in multiples of 3.
I find Dev Patel hot. = \
And I also found Slumdog a brilliant movie. I keep watching the end, over and over again.
I always spend my money in the last week of the month, 'cause next months pocket money is only a few days away.
Pride and Prejudice is my all time favorite book. = ) I'm going as Elizabeth Bennet for my farewell.
I love walking barefoot in the beach at night. I find it so peaceful. The moonlight, the sound of the waves and the cold sand beneath your feet. = )
This is going to kill me. But, when I was twelve, Daniel Radcliff was my imaginary boyfriend. Yes, you may laugh. Out Loud.
I don't like lying.
If I weren't so set on Fashion, I would love to become a journalist, or writer.
I LOVE baking. And cooking. Cooking calms me down.
I wish more people would read my blog. *Wishes*
I've never met some of my bestest friends.
There are three Shrutilaya's (including me) and three Shruthilaya's on Facebook.
Some songs make me cry for hours at a time.
I'm turning seventeen this Monday. = D
So, buy me something.

The END. = D

Morals, you say?

2009-01-31T14:45:00.004+06:00

A few days ago, about 10 guys barged into a pub in Mangalore, they threw a bunch of girls who were just sitting around and having a good afternoon out.
They beat them, kicked them and hurt them. Some of them were even molested.
They call themselves the "Shri Ram Sena". Moral policing in the name of GOD? Yeah, you've got to be kidding me.
The Chief Minister of Rajesthan says he's against pub and mall culture where boys and girls "hold hands" and walk around. Anbumani, our countries Health Minister wants to put an end to this as it's against our "culture". Dancing is against our culture. Drinking is against our culture.
My only question.
DO they even know about our culture?
During the vedic times they had an intoxicating drink called "Soma". VEDIC TIMES.
Dancing has ALWAYS been a part of who we are.
Kathak, Bharatha Natyam, Kathak Kali, Kuchipudi etc are just some of our many dances.
And who could forget the dance between Parvathi and Shiva, Gods we worship.
Yet, it isn't a part of our culture, now, is it?
Our Saree exposes a woman's stomach, but a skirt shows off a girls legs, which is somehow wrong. Today they object when women go to pubs or discos'. What next?
A women soon won't be let to dress the way she wants.
Next, women aren't allowed to work, because that isn't in our culture?!
Women used to be scholars! Healers!
They were once worshiped!
And today, man wants to control a woman's every move.

In our country, there is poverty, low level of education, inflation.. unemployment. People don't have access to clean drinking water! there's starvation, malnutrition and terrorism!

But our politicians, the people who LEAD our country are more interested in banning pub culture and people holding hands?
Are they educated enough to know our real culture and heritage? Do they even know what amazing history we come from? Do they even understand our country?

Do they even care?

Are they leading us towards progress or regress?
Think about it

Prayer Service.

2009-01-29T14:38:00.002+06:00

All good things come to an end.
This is ending is killing me.

Birthday Registry.

2009-01-17T11:12:00.002+06:00

Incase you have some extra cash on you, my birthday is coming up.
So, buy me something! = D

I want..
Sapphire blue and black pumps from Guess. I'm a size 38/7 1/2.
A scarf from Espirit. Black. OR, the silverand black scarf from Forever New.
A long hot pink beaded chain and bangles.
Princess Diary Ten. = P
J.K's Tales of Beedle and the Bard.
A new phone = P Nokia 7610 Supernova, in purple.
Alex by Alexander McQueen OR the Purple Pumps by Pura Lopez again sixe 38/ 7 1/2
An iPod case. In purple.
City Of Glass by Cassandra Clare.
A hot pink/purple/blue/green over sized bag.
Over sized shades.
A new pair of jeans.
A red dress.
Red SHOES!
ANYTHING from Mango.
Chocolates - Hershey's kisses or Twix or even dairy milk.
CAKE, I do love cake!
Stripey stuff. Anything at all.
Nice smelling candles.
Postcards, which you have personally written in.
A birthday call.
Any fiction-fantasy-romance you think I'd like and haven't read.
Take me to a movie, PLEASE?
A HUG.
A camera - parents're probably getting me that one = D
A boyfriend wouldn't hurt either.

Yes, I think thats about it for NOW.
Thankyouforreading. = D

I'll miss you.

2009-01-08T21:13:00.003+06:00

My arts class.
Monday, was our last day of school. EVER.
Never again I will I wake up at 7:30 and say, "Oh shit, I'm going to be late!".
Never again will I wear the wrong uniform to school.
Never again will I curse the school for such horrid track pants.
Our arguments, endless gossip, note passing, getting things confiscated, sneaking in phones, wearing rings.. wearing two earings, talking too much, studying too little.
It's all over.
All we have left now are exams, exams and more exams.
For the first 10 years, I hated school, I hated the concept of it and hoped that it would get over. But after joining Andal, I can't stop loving school. = ((
So much love, in just two years.
This is the place we belong. Where we're protected. In a matter of weeks, we face the ugly cruel world. So help us god.
I'll miss everyone and everything.
I'll miss Lakshmi ma'am, the bestest teacher/guide/friend in the world.
Ill miss all my teachers.
I'll miss the canteen, I'll miss field.
I'll miss bunking PT to gossip, I'll miss skipping swimming with sick notes.
I'll miss reading books during economics class and I'll miss fighting and arguing with my friends.
I'll miss bickering with my friends.
I'll miss the classes.
I'll miss Rosie ayya's yelling and those annoying little kids.
I'll miss "chess" and "yoga".
I'll miss the food, the trees, the parking lot.
The sight of French Loaf outside the Arts class window,
But, most of all, I'll miss the school and everything about it that made me feel so much at home.
I love you, Arts class. You guys made the last two years of my schooling worth more than anything else.
Andal, you truly have been a home away from home.
And yes, I have had every kind of fun in school.
Thank you = ))

I'll always love you guys!

^ From Left to right - top - Varsha, Kavya, Me, Priyanka and Manjari.
Bottom - Adeeba, Divya and Keya.
Stupid Abhishek is missing. Grrr.

41 Questions

2009-01-02T12:18:00.000+06:00

Your personality type:

Enthusiastic, idealistic and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

Careers that could fit you include:

Actors, journalists, writers, musicians, painters, consultants, psychologists, psychiatrists, entrepreneurs, teachers, counselors, politicans, diplomats, television reporters, marketers, scientists, sales representatives, artists, clergy, public relations, social scientists, social workers.

Got this from Ki's blog, what do you think?

TAGGED!

2008-12-27T11:32:00.006+06:00

Ki tagged me. So, here you go. = )

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?
A complete and utter mess.

2. If you could have one dream come true which one would it be?
Worlds most sort after fashion designer. = D

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
Avee's. = P AND Viren.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Start a company. My clothes need to sell.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Yes, I do love him. = ) best friend LOVE.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved. <3

7. How long would you wait for someone you love?
That completely depends on the relationship.

8. If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?
Huh?

9. If you could root for one social cause which one would it be?
Safe Sex.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
Feeling alone.

11 . I loathe most in people?
Lies.

12. What's your fear?
Spiders?
Clowns?
Being all alone and unsuccessful?
Not making it big?

13. What kind of person(s) do you think the person who tagged you is/are?
A sister. = )
The sweetest kind. = D

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
How about happily married and rich? = P

15. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Look for my phone.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who would you pick?
Ki's answer. The one who loves ME unconditionally.

17. Would you give all in a relationship?
Yes, definitely.

18. What's eating you now?
Will I or will I not get into the college of my dreams? 1

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Hmm. At the moment I'm just confused.

20. Tag 6 people...
Avee
Crystal
And anyone else who wants to do this thing. = )

I have shopaholic tendencies.

2008-12-23T11:01:00.001+06:00

I went to Bangalore this weekendd!
It's been ages since I went there, just for the city, with no other thing in mind. = D
I went shopppiiinnngggg!
Leaving my parents broke and with expressions that clearly say "we'll miss having food to eat". Haaa!
Okay, so, I'm dying to tell EVERYONE! So, I shall spill! = D
In a matter of three days, I somehow managed to get myself:

A pair of boots! Tan boots, with a 2 inch heel. So sexy! (My mom's friend gave them to me!)
A Provogue black dress. (Black with a belt)
A white Jealous 21 top.
Two scarves from Mustard.
6 thin wooden bangles.
8 big wooden bangles.
2 leather finish bangles.
A chain.
8 Sloggi's!
2 Kajal pencils (only 'cause they keep running out of stock here)

Ha!
I bought, and bought and bought some more!
Oo, I went to hard Rock Cafe! I saw Eric Calpton's guitar. = O
Oh, and I managed to go to The Only Place and Casa Picolla only 'cause it's Bangalore ritual.
Then I went to this place called Frescos, that has the yummiest desserts in the world.
I went to a few other places whose names I couldn't remember.
But, I had so much fun, it can't be legal!

Go to Bangalore.
It's fun!

Spoiler Alert! Twilight, the movie.

2008-12-15T17:11:00.004+06:00

There's a pretty good print of Twilight on the net, now. The sound isn't great, but the overall quality is pretty good.
The first critic about the movie is that it's slow.
Now, PEOPLE, if you guys have read the book, you'll know that MOST of the text is Bella's "thoughts". There, actually isn't much dialogue. If they had to make it fast paced, the movie would be over in an hour. Heck, I finish reading the book in an hour, maybe two. So, keep that in mind please.

The Cullen's.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen - he was the closest to my imagination I think.
Esme Cullen - They really bring her out as a mother figure, she's a little more, authoritative that I imagined, but it's all good.
Alice Cullen - I thought she'd be smaller, but that.. hyperness isn't there, y'know?
Jasper Hale - He looks like Edward Scissor hands, really. ALWAYS has a pained look on his face, but if you take into consideration he's newest to being a "vegetarian", and is ALWAYS surrounded by human blood.
Rosalie Hale - I thought she was good, but she came across more as a cheerleader than anything else, but her dislike for Bella has been played out brilliantly!
Emmett Cullen - Oh, boy, he's PERFECT, he's everything I imagined about Emmett!
Edward Cullen - When I first heard that Pattinson was playing Edward, I almost cried. Really, I swore till no end and was SO upset, no, I am eating every word I uttered against Pattinson. He's got Edward down cold. With the crooked smile *Drools* to that silent chuckle. *Gasp*.
He's good, but I WISH he didn't try the American accent, if he'd just stuck with his own British accent, it would've just added more sex appeal to Edward.
(The scene where he's wearing those shades.. Oh my *drools more*)

The Swans.

Charlie Swan - He's more talkative that I expected. But they've really sort of developed a relationship between Charlie and Bella.
Isabella Swan - Well, she's slow. But it's sort of like what Bella's supposed to be, very thoughtful, y'know? But, still.. I don't think she was that great!

Renee - Well, they've shown that unbreakable bond between mother and daughter. = )

James - HOTT. Seriously, you almost want him to win. He's THAT good.
Laurent - He's well, yeah, pretty okay.
Victoria - I somehow imagined her hair to be RED, not orange.

Billy Black - Perfection.
Jacob Black - He has more of a role than the book gives him, but his hair? Why couldn't he tie it up? Looked slightly like a girl.

The Verdict
Well, the casting was pretty good, Mike was funny. Eric was strange, Angela was awesome and Jessica was ANNOYING.
As I agreed before, the movie IS slow, but it isn't bad.
I wish they'd spent MORE time sketching the Edward-Bella love story.
They've brought out the Edward - Jacob rivalry, ALREADY. (Billy send Jacob to Bella on the night of the prom (which is after the entire James incident) that she should break up with her boyfriend as they'll be "watching her")
The Cullens house, was TOO modern. I was expecting something more old fashioned, you know? This one is well.. all glass.
Edward and Bella were quite stiff, there was no.. flow.
And their chemistry COULD have been better.

And if you ACTUALLY compare it to the book, it's not bad. It can NEVER be better than the book, that's pretty obvious!

If not anything else, watch it 'cause it's Twilight, OR for James. *nods*

So, I'll say 7/10.

All thanks to YOU.

2008-12-02T16:17:00.004+06:00

To my mum and dad. = )

You gave me my life
You gave me my soul
You gave me my eyes and ears
You made me whole.

You're the one I love,
The one I cherish,
You're like a dove,
That will guide me till I perish.

You saw me when I was tiny
You saw me growing up
You saw me when I was whiny,
Much like a little pup.

You gave me all my talents
You encouraged me till no end
You MAKE me feel special,
Like I'm the very best

You let me be who I am
You're the reason I'm me.
The reason I can be what I want to be
The reason I'm happy,
And a little too soppy.
The reason I love,
The reason I share
It's you guys..
All because you cared.

I know all this sounds cheesy
It'll probably even make you queasy,
But NOTHING I ever do,
Can express how much I Love You.

Ten Random Facts.

2008-11-21T10:34:00.003+06:00

It's Friday Morning! Today's a holiday. = D I would usually use this day to study or catch up with my work, but as the sight of my books makes me puke, I shall blog.
It has been a long time since I've blogged, actually. The Random blogs, the last few blogs have been too let say, serious?
Anyway, so ten random facts, I've been meaning to tell myself, or you, or something, or.. Meh, just read it. (btw.. "Meh" has now been included in the dictionary, I wonder why that annoying red line still comes..)

1) I'm desperately in need of a social life. SERIOUSLY. I'm so sick of hearing people talk about fun outings and going through pictures in my PJ's, with oily hair and a book in front of me. (not necessarily a TEXT book, mind you) I want to party. yes, I'm saying this while my half yearlies are just about two weeks away.

2) I need to start looking human again. If not for anyone, for myself. I mean, the boys at school are just bleeh, so, I don't really care about what they think.
I need to cut my hair (I'm so sick of looking at a hay stack in the mirror), wax *Shudder*, eyebrows and probably bleach while I'm at it. Then, I can wear skirts again without worrying

3) I also need to file my nails, and start wearing a bit of kajal again. Viren, you might say I look nice without it, but the rest of the world invariably thinks I'm sick. When I look sick. I feel sick.
Note to Self: Buy more eye liner and WEAR it.

4) Must buy 10Th book of princess diaries. Yes, I am 16. I'm in class 12 and I STILL read that series and I love it. Deal. With. It.

5) PMS does NOT happen all days of the month. Stop using that as an excuse for non-stop-crankiness. Heck, stop being strange. One minute I'm fine, next minute I have the maturity level of a three year old. STOP DOING THAT!!

6) Stop worrying. I will get into college. One I like, even.

7) Confidence. I need confidence. In myself and my work. Some of it effin' brilliant!

8) Edward Cullen is a fictional character. Edward Cullen is a fictional character. Edward Cullen is a fictional character. Edward Cullen is a fictional character. Edward Cullen is a fictional character.
MUST stop falling in love and dreaming about people who aren't real. *Slaps self*

9) Must get new phone. TJ's dead. *Blows nose* Must get new iPod. Stella is dying. *Cries* Must get new laptop. Cannot take Gilbert(the computer) to college. *Howls*

10) Study, for heavens sake study. College is important, entrances are VERY important. They don't look at marks, but. STUDY. I must not screw up my boards!

Yes, now that you've read all my annoying rants.. I suggest you comment. Or I'll gut you like a fish with a smile on my face. I mean it.
Anyway, toodles now. I think I'll go eat something. = D

Your very own,
Shrutilaya the psychotic 16 year old.

Humanity

2008-11-13T17:03:00.003+06:00

She made mistakes.
She slept with him.
She cheated on him.
She was confused.. she still is.
You knew what she was, you still wanted her.
Blame yourself.
You knew where she came from.
You knew about her past.
Wasn't that why you were so excited?
Isn't that why you wanted to go out with her?
To "get some"?
If you slept with a thousand girls, your friends will congratulate you.
Because she slept with a boy, you call her a whore, a slut.
How is that fair?
Why do you get so much pleasure in ruining someone else's life?
How can you do that to her?
How can all of you?
You were once her friends.. how could you just stop?
Was it real?
If it could just end.. like that?

She made mistakes.
She slept with him.
She cheated on him.
She was confused.. she still is.

Give her a break.
Sleeping around doesn't make you a bad person.
Having high morals doesn't make you a good person.
Like many, she's confused, she's lost.

Don't mock her, help her.

Do they even care?

2008-11-02T12:42:00.002+06:00

Millions of applications, zillions of entrance papers.
How do they eliminate?
First: They throw out all those who don't fit in.
Second: They look at your creativity and your skill, but whose judging?
Third: If you're lucky enough to get through, they call you for an interview.
A panel of four people, all to observe you, like you're a lab rat.
One keep staring at you, to read your body language.
Others, scrutinize you and your work until you're ready to break down, you leave the room, trying not to care.

Getting into colleges is a tough ordeal, but, getting into specialized courses, say Design, is tougher. They judge us left and right. They tear you apart until they can see completely through that facade you're creating.
They probably need too! But how can you just tear away a persons dreams and desires, without knowing them or their past and how hard they've worked to be where they are?
How can you just throw someone's future in a wastepaper basket without thinking twice?

It's a tough world out there, and they need to do this, no one's going to cut you any slack unless you are THE best, but..
Do we have what it takes?
Are we tough enough?
When is comes to the crunch, can we pull through?
With my entire future laid out before me, in the form of MATH (*Cries*, it's haunting me!), Drawing skill, observation skill, reasoning power and imagination, I can;t help but have doubt in myself.

Will I succeed?
Will I get in?
Or will I be just another highly underpaid, overworked design student?

Do this, I'll give you a cookie.

2008-10-28T13:19:00.001+06:00

Okay, y'all.
This is my friend's new blog.
She's an amazing writer AND the most talented artist EVER.
Ki, this was the girl I was talking 'bout, the one whose going to do Animation?

So, here.. this is her blog http://devilishmusing.blogspot.com/
Read and enjooyy!

<3

2008-10-26T20:20:00.003+06:00

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose Worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

A guy doesn't look at a girl in a bar and say "That's girl has such a great soul".
He looks at HER.
Physically.
Her appearance.
The way she dresses, how she looks.
At first, no one ever thinks about what she might be.. it only matters that she's hot.
If this is how guys judge, I shall be 85, a spinster who pop's anti-depression pills, slits her wrists and lives with 12 dogs.
Why is appearance everything with guys?
I have a couple of friends.. smart, unconventionally mature guys who fell for the pretty bitchy girls. It ALWAYS happens.
The better the guy is, the sluttier and the bitchier a girl he falls for. I see it ALL the time. It surrounds me and haunts me.
It annoys me and frustrates me.
Why are boys my age so immature?
When will they learn that true love isn't based on appearances or bank accounts.
When will they learn that lust is not everything, it gives them nothing but temporary happiness?
"Love is not love that alters when alteration it finds"

When are people going to learn the truth about love?
When will they stop mixing love with lust and physical desires or mental pictures?

When will they EVER learn?

STILL blocked.

2008-10-21T09:43:00.005+06:00

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry

I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

I <3>
From 10 things I hate about you.
Heath Ledger, the man who took my heart with him, when he died.
*Sob*

So, camp was amazingg! We got completely drenched the first day! = D My All-Stars are STILL wet. *Sigh* We had TWO dance nights, the last night in Bangalore, I went MAD. We danced like crazy ass people. At Wonder La, I elbowed a guy who tried to hug me. Erm.. otherwise it was just.. F-U-N! I'll miss school SO much! *Cries*
Oh, annnd, I got my first EVER college application yesterdaayy!
*Dies*

Alright, I'll go now. Tata, Take care, Byyee!

Sowwie, Blogger's Block.

2008-10-20T21:21:00.002+06:00

"I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was"

"Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm falling apart"

"A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried"

"My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now it's in pieces because of you"

"When you left, I lost a part of me"

^ I love these. = )

Leaaviinnng.

2008-10-12T14:17:00.002+06:00

I'm going for camp!
..To Bangalore, Mysore and Coorg. = )
I'm leaving Monday morning at 5.
I'll see you guys Friday!

Take care, have fun!

Anndd MISS ME! = D

*Hugs*

MY Father's Dream.

2008-10-06T12:34:00.003+06:00

My daddy had a dream.
It was a weird dream.
*Sigh*
I can't believe I'm going to actually post this, but.. what the hell, it's a good laugh.
This dream happens around ten - fifteen years later.
I am a designer who lives in the English countryside.
(Country? ME? I'm a city girl. I need malls. I tell you, MALLS!)
I have a boutique in London.
(I want boutiques EVERYWHERE! Not just London!)
I am.. *Holds breath* married. To a guy named DAVID.
David, seriously.
Now "David" is an architect who I met while doing my PG at the London School Of Design. And he is a nice fellow. According to dad, which is a rare thing, mind you, RARE.
Anyway, there's some more embarrassing shit about "David's" mother flirting with my father while they were at the local bar and mom's playing darts.
(I inherited my sense of direction and aim from mother dearest, which means she probably killed a couple of drunk bystanders.)

*Dies of shame*

Anyway, I don't mind changing a few things..

There were NO dogs, I want three dogs.
I don't like the name David.. it's too.. DAVID. Eeeessh. I want some real uncommon cool name.. like.. okay.. I don't know.
Why did I live in a countryside?
Only one boutique? *Cires*
My mother playing darts is ALL wrong.
Mother-in-law flirting with father? *Vomits*
I like the fashion designer part. = )
The London School Of Design part was good too!
I was happy, which means I wasn't the cynical, sad, depressed, washed up artist I thought I'll end up being.
I was marriiieeed! Even if it WAS to a guy named David. I did finally find true love.

Yes, now, this pathetic little girl shall run along and talk to her father about his vivid and highly embarrassing dreams. = D
Ta!

HOW?!

2008-10-02T16:11:00.005+06:00

Hi.
I don't know if you remember me..
My name is Shrutilaya.
We used to be friends.. best friends.
But, now. I barely even recognized you and you don't even know me.
We promised to stay in touch, promised to meet every holiday.. but, that didn't happen, did it?
We barely ever spoke after that.
You're nothing but a distinct memory.
I hate what has happened.
I can't forgive myself for letting this happen to us.
I cherished you as a friend.
We were there for each other through thick and thin.
We loved each other.

It's a funny feeling, innit?
When you knew someone so well, and then.. lost touch. Barely know what happened to them. It makes me burn with anger.
How could I go wrong?
How could I lose a friend?

I'm out of touch with SO many people, it's not funny anymore.

I regret it more than ANYTHING I've ever regretted.
Don't forget your friends.. your ex boyfriends/girlfriends.. no matter what happened between you guys. Keep in touch.
At one point of time, they made most sense to you.
It would be senseless to forget them.

I'm going to call some of my friends from my old school now. = )

TRY and catch up. = )

Dandia Night.

2008-09-27T19:38:00.003+06:00

This year's Dandia Night, followed by last years.
My second Dandia Night in Lady Andal, also my last. ='(

Fun, Fights, Dancing, Food. Hitting people with the sticks. = D

Oo, PINCHING CHEEKS!

= D

I'll miss all of it.

Words that reach my heart. = )

2008-09-23T19:58:00.006+06:00

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's just so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

I've highlighted the parts I relate to the most.
Taylor Swift. - Tear Drops On My Guitar.

It's SO beautiful, It ain't funny. It makes me smile and cry. EVERY TIME.

I had a dream..

2008-09-22T16:58:00.003+06:00

Ning Ning said:
I'm carrying like 4 books in my hand, some stuff on top of that ad a bag in my hand.. while talking to Mama on the phine and telling her that NID is perfect!
Ning Ning said:
So, I'm walking and EVERYthing falls.
Ning Ning said:
And, I bend down to pick them up. And this guy is helping. He's all cute with dimples and glasses and shy.
Tikka. said:
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Ning Ning said:
He offers to accompany me to my next class and introduces himself.
Ning Ning said:
I tell him my name and he's like.. "pretty name". So we start talking.
Ning Ning said:
And..
Ning Ning said:
I woke up.
Tikka. says:
GRR
Tikka. says:
Blog about it!
Tikka. says:
Oo Oo Oo, and, I have a vague feeling that's how it's gonan be?
Ning Ning says:
Really?
Tikka. says:
Maybe, it just might.

*sigh*

ONLY in dreams.

Failure to Pass.

2008-09-19T16:19:00.005+06:00

Alright.
The last post was well, uh, depressing to put it mildly.
I'm good now. All chirpy and painfully energetic.
Anyywaay,
I have exams.
Argh.
They don't seem to stop.
*Hopes that college will be better*
Ki, you NEED to disillusion me here! PLEASE.
My exams aren't going too well.
I mean, normally when I say I didn't do too good, I end up getting okay marks, I guess.. Late seventies, early eighties. Atleast, that's how it used to be. *Sigh*
'Cause you know you've really messed up when you screw up in English.
English. MY subject.

I feel like a loser.
Okay, fine, I am one, but ENGISH?! = \
And, I have History on monday.
17 lessons.
I've never really regretted taking arts. Really.
But, invariably I end up regretting that decision before a history exam.
Fleck it.

Anyway, I need support to get me through this VERY painful time!
Now, blogger pals.

HELP!

A Pain Unknown T'you.

2008-09-19T16:19:00.002+06:00

A year is but a small fraction of the sand in the hourglass called life..
- Akshey.

It's almost been a year.
10 months, to put it accurately.
I'm still not over it.
I'm over him.
But thinking about him, or anything to do with him.. makes me fall into pieces.
The agony. It tears up my insides.
I started writing this the other day..

How long will I remain
Broken hearted and drained
How long before I realize that to my life there is more
More than college or school,
more than jazz and blues.
Will I ever be me again..
Or more importantly
Is it possible without or will the attempt be vain?

Argh.
Why can't I just get over it?
Why can't I get on with life?
Why can't I move on?

WHY?

Always the best of friends.

2008-09-17T17:09:00.002+06:00

Viren: Hey dodobrian.
Me: Hey-llo, doofus!
Viren: Whatcha' doing?
Me: Reading! = )
Viren: Reading what?
Me: A book?
Viren: Umm.. okaay.
Me: What you upto?
Viren: Nothing. Pulling my hair and trying to make it long. = (
Me: Haha. Weirdo! = P
Viren: What? It's short! = (
Me: It is NOT.
Viren: IT IS.
Me: It's not, stop being such an obsessive compulsive fool!
Viren: FINE.
Me: You talking to her today, right?
Viren: Yes, but you mean chatting.
Me: Yeah, yeah.. can't you get it fixed? It's annoying. We talk and read what you have to say.
Viren: Varun told me to buy the cheaper one.
Me: Why do you listen to an idiot like Varun?
Viren: I don't know. Probably shouldn't have.
Me: You think? Okay, get it fixed!
Viren: It'll cost more to fix it!
Me: So buy a new one?
Viren: Ugh. = \

^ The conversations you have with your best friend are always to cryptic. It's hard for anyone on the outside to understand 'em.

P.S. I am SUCH a klutz, it's not funny anymore. I tripped getting into the car. And then, Viren and Varun came home today. I was washing something in the kitchen, Viren pulled my hair or something, I moved back, tripped over Varun's BIG feet (Yes, you're BIG FOOT! I don't like you, UGH) and fell on my butt. My bum hurts.

P.P.S. I'm going to record the number of times I fall a day. Just out of curiosity! = P

Happy Endings.

2008-09-12T11:41:00.003+06:00

My friend Kavya and I had this discussion the other day.
She thinks that books and movies and fairytales make life seem too happy and perfect and witty and gay, if you like.
She thinks that the concept of a "happy ending" doesn't exist.
(Yes, I STILL identify with Avril Lavigne's older songs, sue me!)

I disagree.
See, I think, the happy ending concept that people're trying to get across via movies and books is just that, after everything that happens, if you're happy with who you are and where you are.. that's all matters.
You don't need that perfect guy. Yes, annoying Prince Charming or Mcdreamy like, or in my case McGeeky like. *Sigh*
You don't need to be rich.
You don't need to have everything that you've always wanted.
You don't.

You just need to be happy with whatever you have. That's what I call a Happy Ending.
Which is VERY difficult, 'cause it's human nature to never be happy with what you have and always want more, but where do you draw the line between only wanting ans wishing and not enjoying what you have, NOW.

Take my parents, for example.
My mom would truly love to make a living out of art and creativity.. but she's not doing that.
My dad would've been the best teacher in the world.
he has SO much information within that head of his that he'd probably kick anybody's sorry ass! But, he's a marketing consultant. Not that he doesn't like that, I'm just saying.
They might not have everything they wanted.
They what a LOT more.

But, they know the difference and are probably the best example of happy.
I mean, HAPPY. Joyful. Creepily lovey-dovey.
Sometimes it causes me trauma, I tell you.
Btw, if you think reading books and watching movies filled with happy couples is bad, or having friends and in love.
Try living it on a daily basis. AT HOME.

Yeah, I'm stunted and overly romantic. I BLAME THEM!

Anyway my point being.
Don't stop wanting. Without desire our dreams can never be fullfilled.
BUT, also try to be happy while wanting. = )

That's your Happy Ending.

The Judgment.

2008-09-09T21:39:00.003+06:00

Everyone of us have morals of our own.
Morals that have come with our family, morals we've all been raised with.
These morals are personal. Only to us.
Us and us ONLY.
Honestly, judging a person with YOUR moral idea is truly wrong.
You can't say that you'd've done this in THAT situation if it was you.
Thing is, you might be vanilla, the other, chocolate.
And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
I have this classmate, whose VERY close minded, one can't blame her, that's the way she is.
But, she keeps picking on another classmate of mine because of the company she keeps.
Now, this girl is sweet and nice and we're good friends, I think she's amazing and fascinating, even!
But, this classmate of mine thinks she's in BAD company, hence like that.
They're her friends. She has HER equation with them
HOW CAN YOU JUDGE A PERSON WITHOUT KNOWING THEM?!

Because of what people tell you?
Because you just wanna' be one among the crowd?
Or because you're too cowardly too have an opinion of your own that the general public might not agree with?
People jump at me on a daily basis because I think the Nuclear Deal is a good idea!
I am NOT going to change my opinion on it, just 'cause some of you might not like it.

It's not your place to judge.
It's not mine either, to judge you because you judge.
All I'm asking is.
Give everyone and everything a chance and decide for yourself.
YOURSELF.

That's why you have a brain and reasoning powers.
To USE them.
Not to let them sit in one corner of your head gathering dust.

Use THEM.

And, please.. STOP. JUDGING. PEOPLE.

Stop it.

2008-09-04T20:35:00.002+06:00

Just because you don't tell everyone when you have a problem.
Just because you don't show it on the outside.
Just because you have a good relationship with your parents.
Just because I take humanities.
Just because I'm allowed to talk on the phone.
Just because my parents're ultra liberal.
Just because you know what you want from your future and plans on how to get it.
Just because you seem all happy and dandy and fine..

DOES NOT mean that you're trouble-free.
When you're a teenager, actually no matter how old you are, you will have problems.
Some you might share, some you might not.
But judging a person based on the above is NOT right.
Everyone has issues to deal with.
Everyone has insecurities.
EVERYONE has problems at home.
Just because some of us decide not to show it, does not mean you can take us for granted.
Just 'cause I don't take science doesn't mean I don't study.
I'm NOT dumb.
MY parents are parents too, they do restrict me, just 'cause you think they're cool doesn't mean that I'm lying everytime I tell you that I'm not allowed somewhere.

Take me for example, ONLY one person knows about the issues I have at home. The issues my parents go through. The problems in my family.
Just 'cause I decide not to share them with the entire world and walk along with a long face, it doesn't signify that everything with me is "perfect".

Nothing EVER is.
Expecting TOO much out of a person is going to drive them crazy.

STOP setting such high standards for me.
I can't ALWAYS be there!
Stop expecting me to call!
Stop expecting me to have finished studying everything.
Stop expecting me to get 90%!
Stop expecting me to get into all the colleges.

JUST. STOP. EXPECTING.

Let me, be me.

PLEASE.

|| Spaced || Out ||

2008-08-31T10:23:00.001+06:00

I suffer from dreaming-all-the-time-disorder.
It's not normal.
I can't pay attention for more than 5 minutes at a time.
We would probably be debating on the requirement of the death penalty, global warming, China's human rights policies.. or even Edward Cullen's sex appeal, and there I go off again.
One minute I'd be yelling about us not having the right to decide who lives or dies and the next second, I see a little speck in the wall, I'm gone.
In my own world.
Filled with whatever it is I'm thinking off.
Until someone realizes that I'm staring quite blankly at 'em.
I keep staring blankly at my history teachers face, until she stares back.
In the morning, while brushing my teeth, I stare at my mirror and ...
I take 30 minutes to get ready in the morning even though I only take 2 minutes to bathe.
I dream too much.
Really, I do.

Even now, it took me about half an hour to write this blog 'cause my mind ran away somewhere while I was staring at Gilbert's face. = \

Actually, I've been wondering, is it normal to be thinking of 3 different things, while reading or writing?
For instance, right now, I'm blogging, but I'm also trying to remember my history essay and the colour combination's for this dress I've been making.
Teal and Purple? Yellow and Purple? With red accessories?

Y'know? Sometimes, it's just very annoying.. having the attention span of a fly.
Random is ME.

Weird is MORE me.

Oh, yeah.. the point, HOW DO I STOP SPACING OUT SO MUCH?!
More importantly, WHY DO I SPACE OUT SO MUCH?!?!?!

Anchored '08.

2008-08-28T19:30:00.003+06:00

After all that preparation.
After almost a month of hard work, it came and just flew away.
Orca Anchored 2008 is officially over.
Our very own Culturals, conducted by the Class 12, on 27th August, was a HUGE success, with contributions from every one of us.
There were a few minor set backs, but no program can run smoothly without them.
It was so much fun, I can't begin to tell you.
Guys came for hair styling and girls came for the treasure hunt. (Not very common things, I assure you).
We had 25 schools this year, almost triple the amount as last years 8. = )
But, in the end, it wasn't all that joyful.
Orca, came to an end.
My last culturals in school.
September, October, November and December. (January onwards, it's just exams!)
I have four months left of school.

Four months of being a kid.
Four months of unadulterated childishness.

It's like this huge weight is suddenly preventing me from moving forward. Like an anchor. That weighs you down. Preventing you from moving forward.
School's getting over and I ain't ready for that world out there, yet. = (

Time machine, anyone?

Over and Over.

2008-08-25T21:56:00.002+06:00

I cut it off. = (
It'll grow back. I hope, wish and pray.
Today was Misbah's surprise Birthday Party. = )
Boy, was she surprised. She was going to Sumu's house for an accounts test, on the way, Sumu was supposed to stop at Karishma's house to give her mom the Chicken Sumu's mom had made. = D
When Misbah was "helping" Sumu, she opened the door, and there we all were, yelling!
She had NO clue and her jaw dropped forming a perfect "O". = D
So awesome!

I love surprises.
They make everyone happy. = )
I'm all smiles, ONLY thanks to the party.

Otherwise, I feel down TWICE today. Once in school, and once in the bathroom, because of which I had to dry my hair AGAIN and change my clothes.
We worked really hard on this chart, for 3 hours! But then, Kavya and Akshey decided to have a water fight and ruin it!
Okay, today was just down right weird.

I've forgotten the very fancy point that I was going to make.
Maybe I'll just go now.
Ciao!